At a Loss for Words

Today a friend of mine stated her intention of keeping a "gratitude" journal in which she mines the diamonds from each day. This made me smile, knowing that very same notion was the origin of this blog. Admittedly I have been abysmal at keeping up with my entries, though I can honestly say I have found something to make me smile each and every day, no matter how bad that day has been. (And, there have been some pretty rough days in the past few months.)

I have also been doing more writing lately, but there's been nothing that I think merits publishing to an audience. So, today, with a primed pen and my friend's new-found inspiration as further impetus for me to once again catalog my thoughts here, I fully intended to post an entry that captured a bit of joy that I found in what was otherwise a pretty miserable Christmas.

However, tonight, now that I have the time to sit and write, I am at a loss for words. Someone I care about is hurting and I feel helpless. My heart aches such that I do not trust my fingers on the keyboard. And so I am glad that I found my smile earlier today in the words of a friend. Since I cannot rely on my own words tonight, I will pass on words written by another that I find beautiful and inspiring, and perhaps someone else can find their smile here:

This is your LIFE. Do what you love, and do it often.

 If you don’t like something, change it.

 If you don’t like your job, quit.

 If you don’t have enough time, stop watching TV. 

If you are looking for the love of your life, stop; they will be waiting for you when you start doing things you love. 

Stop over analyzing, LIFE IS SIMPLE. All emotions are beautiful. 

When you eat, appreciate every last bite. 

Open your mind, arms, and heart to new things and people; we are united in our differences. 

Ask the next person you see what their passion is, and share your inspiring dream with them. 

Travel often; getting lost will help you find yourself. 

Some opportunities only come once, seize them. 

Life is about the people you meet, and the things you create with them so go out and start creating.
LIFE IS SHORT. Live your dream and wear your passion. 

A Real Family Thanksgiving

Thanksgiving has always been a traditional holiday in my house. From the time I was little, it was the day when the family gathered around the table. When I grew up and got married, I still tried to make it back home for this special day with my family. If I wasn't able to, we often spent the day with a friend's family or I made Thanksgiving dinner at home and we invited friends. The tradition continues to this day.

Now that I'm in South Georgia, my mom and my step-dad make a special trip down from Illinois for Thanksgiving. They usually celebrate an early Thanksgiving with my brothers and their families in Illinois and then drive down for the holiday. This year was no different.

While many people don't like the hassle of preparing the turkey and all the fixings and desserts necessary for a proper Thanksgiving feast, that is as much a part of the tradition of the day for me as having the football games on TV. The parade . . . eh . . . I can take or leave that. So this year, my mother and I buzzed in and out of the kitchen between tasks and watching the Lions and Packers on the gridiron. My son and his grandfather kept themselves busy while we prepped dishes and cooked. It was a happy house and I was mentally counting my blessings because I know there were others who could not be with their families and many who are much less fortunate than I am.

Finally, the table was set, the candles were lit, the turkey was carved and we sat down to enjoy the meal . . .

It was at this moment that my son decided to loose any and all frustration that he had been storing up unbeknownst to we innocent bystanders. A meltdown like we haven't witnessed in years took place over the selection of deviled eggs. Or perhaps it was the sight of stuffing ("That looks GROSS!") on his plate that set him off. Whatever the cause, he refused to talk to anyone and stared at the flames of the candle.

My mother, frustrated and tired of watching this ridiculous tantrum, promptly blew out the candles . . . only exacerbating the problem. Tears ensued. My mother announced that she had reached the end of her patience and that she didn't feel a need to sit at the table while Declan showed that behavior. She took her plate and went upstairs to finish her meal. Of course, that only made Declan cry more. He stomped upstairs to his own room, sobbing uncontrollably. My stepfather and I sat across from each other at the table and shared a look of pure disbelief, then finished a very quiet meal. Happy Thanksgiving.

My mother came down after she finished her dinner. Declan eventually made amends as well, slipping my mother, step-father and I handmade cards saying, "I'm so sorry, Love Declan  P.S. for t[h]rowing a fit." Plenty of hugs were exchanged over pumpkin pie and whipped cream and all was once again right with the world.

This is what happens when a real family gets together. And stories like these are the ones that make up holiday memories. It might be more like "Funny Farm" than Norman Rockwell perfection, but the good, the bad, the ugly . . . THIS is what family is all about, and it is something for which I am so very thankful.

The Return of the Prodigal Blogger

It has been many moons since my last blog post and I am long overdue. As I sit here gazing at the bright half-moon through the trees in the backyard, I realized that now is as good a time as any to free-flow some thoughts to the page. Please forgive any errors and rambling...I'm out of practice.

The image I offer below is a testament to the fact that although I have not been writing I have definitely been smiling...every day. For a multitude of reasons. Instead of listing those reasons or recapping the past few months, I will merely say that summer seemed to pass in the blink of an eye and those days were anything but lazy. We enjoyed much love and laughter with family and friends and the passing of another birthday was painless. 

Music still shapes my days and is my muse in many ways. My soul is still soothed by the sound of the waves, and I can find my balance when then my toes are in the sand. The rhythm and pulse of the island are my rhythm and my pulse. With each breath of salt air I am renewed.
,
Yet now, with the change of the seasons and the cooling of the air, I feel a new kind of energy and thrum of excitement. I feel vibrant and alive. I'm ready to see where my path leads and to take on any obstacles that I may find upon it. So...maybe if I stay on top of this blog, you can follow me on the journey! I guarantee that no matter where it leads there will be plenty of smiles along the way.

Far From Perfect

My morning status post on Facebook today read as follows: "Big cup of hazelnut coffee in hand & smell of cinnamon rolls wafting out of the oven. Good . . . no . . . GREAT morning, everyone!" A friend from high school commented that she enjoys waking up to my happy posts. Since I am often accused by others of being perpetually happy, I thought that what I told my old friend is something I should share here.

My happy posts--and this blog about finding your smile every day--is my way of counting my blessings. My life is far from perfect, but I know I am fortunate to have all that I do have. I will not take the things that make me smile each day for granted; I celebrate them.

I don't need a perfect life, I just want one filled with happiness. Where moments of joy outweigh moments of sadness, frustration and anger. Striving for perfection is an exhausting and impossible task. Life is messy and imperfect and people are flawed, so why do we expect that we can attain perfection? I choose instead to embrace each day as it comes and do my best to find or create every moment of joy that I can.

So that's the secret to my sunny disposition. Try it, it might work for you too!

Power to the Positive!

I turned to Declan yesterday morning and said, "You know what? Today is going to be a good day. No, it's going to be a great day!" He looked at me dubiously, "Mom, you don't know. It could be a really bad day. It might not be a good day at all." I sighed. That's the problem with the world today: not enough positive thinking, no contagious enthusiasm, a stubborn need to focus on the cloud and discount its silver lining.

Now I understand that there is some comfort in having low (or no) expectations because then the good things that happen are always a bonus, but this seems more like daily expectations that something will go wrong or bad things will happen. I just can't face my day that way!

So I explained to Declan that the attitude you have when you approach the day is just as important as what actually happens that day. If you go in thinking that it's going to be bad, you won't see the good. If you greet someone with a frown, you'll probably get a frown in return; but if you smile, chances are that you'll get a smile back and everyone will be happier.

It worked. Yesterday we both had great days. So today as we walked out the door to head to school, I turned to Declan with a smile and said, "You know what? Today is going to be a great day -- even better than yesterday! Whatcha think, Declan?" He grinned back at me, "Right, Mom. I think it's going to be a really good day."

And you know what? It was! To quote my wise friend Bill, "Power to the positive!" Keep smilin', people!

Justice Will Be Done

On September 11, 2001, I was pulling into the parking lot at my office when I heard the report on the radio that a plane had flown into the World Trade Center in New York. I remember shaking my head and wondering what kind of idiot pilot could fly a little plane into the side of a building, and what in the world they were doing flying that low in the city at all. When I came upstairs to my office, a few of us were discussing that strange report when someone came in to tell us that another plane had just hit the building. For the rest of the day we, just like the rest of the nation, were glued to radios and televisions for minute by minute news relating to what we quickly became aware was a terrorist attack on the United States.

It was an awful, awful day that I will never forget. I remember lighting luminaries in the driveway with my friend, Lisa, and wondering when the horror would end. So many innocent lives lost. Stories of terror and fear tempered only by amazing acts of heroism and an outpouring of true humanity.

On May 1, 2011, President Obama announced that the mastermind behind the terrible attacks on 9-11, Osama bin Laden, was killed by U.S. forces in a firefight in Pakistan. Former President George W. Bush, who was in office on 9-11 perhaps sums it up best: "This momentous achievement marks a victory for America, for people who seek peace around the world, and for all who lost loved ones on September 11, 2001. The fight against terror goes on, but tonight America has sent an unmistakable message: No matter how long it takes, justice will be done."

Thank you to the men and women who provide me with the blanket of freedom under which I sleep. Your vigilance and dedication are greatly appreciated. Job well done...now on to the next one. God bless you and keep you safe.

Stormy Weather & Winds of Change

Over the past few days, the South has experienced devastating tornadoes that resulted in hundreds of casualties, more than a thousand injuries, and untold property damage. I think the vast majority of the storm damage was in Alabama, but some of the catastrophe was felt in the north part of Georgia. Here on the island, we had some weather that looked very ugly, but blew through quickly, and really had more bark than bite. Declan and I were talking about the tornadoes on the way to school one morning, and he said he wished we would have one. I was horrified, "Why would you want us to have a tornado here," I asked. "Don't you remember all of that damage from the one that happened on Mother's Day? That would be terrible." He told me that he just thought it would be really cool to see a tornado.

That got me to thinking about how people choose to chase tornadoes or take cover and stay safe. And the more I thought about that, I started seeing a tornado as an analogy for those unforeseen events or forces that sometimes blow into your life, turning everything upside down and wreaking havoc. The energy of the storm is exciting and invigorating. The waves churn and the tide crashes against the rocks. When it passes, the calm can be unnerving. An absence of that surging power. Even if you've been spared from major damage, you may still feel like a sailboat adrift--perhaps blown off course and now lacking the wind to fill your sails. Winds of change can be good, but too much and we risk the damage of a storm. I guess all we can really hope is that we have a solid foundation and sturdy enough construction to embrace the tempest, enjoy the excitement of the ride through it, and come through unscathed.

God, how I love a good storm!

Smiling When No One Else Is Around

If you smile when no one else is around, you really mean it.  ~Andy Rooney

I'm still on that crazy, twisty, up and down rollercoaster ride of life, going at breakneck speed, but want to assure you followers that while I may not have been able to take the time to blog every day (or even every week, sadly), I am definitely still taking the time to smile! Or, actually, smiling during the moments of these busy days. And, yes, I'm often smiling when no one else is around.

Some of the things that have made me happy since my last post: the smell of confederate jasmine, the blooming of the azaleas, and the pure, unadulterated beauty of spring. The feel of my toes in the sand. The breathtaking view of the full moon shining brightly in a clear night sky. The love of a community that rallys around one of its own. The joy of answered prayers. The ability of an impromptu dinner picnic at the beach to calm the turbulence in my mind. Nutella cake pops . . . and red velvet ones too (and I'm not talking about the ones at Starbucks either)! The pride I have in my son when I see how happy he is to read a book of his own choosing from start to finish without help. The daily discovery of more new music to suit . . . or alter . . . my mood. Unexpected compliments and compliments from unexpected sources. New and delicious flavors of Moo Cow Ice Cream. The strength of old friendships and the pleasure of building new ones. The ability and opportunity to laugh out loud every single day. The fact that there are more tears of laughter in my life than tears of sadness or pain.


Over the past few weeks a dear friend of mine, a vivacious woman who is a loving wife and mother of two young boys, has been enduring a struggle with a very serious medical condition. She discovered that she would require a type of brain surgery that many surgeons consider too risky to perform. Despite her fear, she faced this obstacle with determination and grace, and came through the procedure with near miraculous results. Her post-surgery progress has been nothing short of amazing. That is what a positive attitude, strong will, and abundant faith and love can do. It is truly a sight to behold. 

It also reminds me to greet each day with a smile because every day is a gift. Whatever the day might bring, I am determined to embrace the joy and challenge it brings and continue to smile . . . even when no one else is looking. 

More of the Unexpected

It seems like I keep coming back to the same themes in this blog, but today was another one of those perfect island days that just makes me happy to be alive and well and living in this paradise I call home. I've had a wonderful weekend enjoying time with my son and my friends and made some of those amazing unexpected discoveries along the way.

Friday night, Declan and I joined some friends to see the movie "Hop" -- a family-friendly tale about the adventures of a deadbeat human and E.B., the reluctant son of the Easter Bunny. Though the trailers on TV looked pretty cute I wasn't expecting much after some of the recent kids movies we've seen in the theater. I was very pleasantly surprised! The movie was filled with great music, from the "I Want Candy" cover to "Every Rose Has Its Thorn," and I found myself hoping that there would be a soundtrack CD.

The best part of the movie for me did not come from the "main" characters thought, but from the voice talent of the incredibly funny Hank Azaria. He voiced two characters (Carlos and Phil) in the movie and had me laughing uncontrollably.

(One of my favorite recent family movies was "Night at the Museum: Battle of the Smithsonian" because Hank Azaria as Kahmunrah, the undead pharaoh with the speech impediment was hysterical.) I love when a movie surpasses my expectations and it was a nice night out with friends.

 On Saturday night, at the coaxing of my friend, Britt, an amazing dynamo of a woman who is an entrepreneur, marketing whiz and recent breast cancer (and divorce) survivor, I took Declan to the Relay for Life Kick Off Concert. Britt had organized the concert to benefit the American Cancer Society and had put a lot of effort into bringing in a country duo from Nashville called Bomshel. Though the event sounded great and I love supporting anything Britt does, I hadn't planned on attending because I had the boy and didn't think kids would be welcome at the concert. Britt allayed my fears and told me that I should definitely bring Declan, her own kids would be there, and there wouldn't be any problem. Another big draw was that a 12 year old girl named Sydney Rhame from Atlanta would be performing. I've heard of Sydney because she plays on the island every now and again and is friends with some of the local musicians I know, but I've never seen her sing. A totally unexpected perk of the night was that my friend, Joe, and his friend, Danielle, showed up for the concert because Danielle had won some tickets the night before. We got to hang out with them - such a pleasant surprise!

The Bomshel girls were beautiful and funny. They loved Declan's freckles and chatted with him at the Meet-and-Greet before the concert. When we asked for a photo with them, Kristy planted a big kiss on his cheek, leaving lipstick marks. He was embarrassed, thrilled and proud all at the same time. It was absolutely priceless! They were fantastic in concert too. They were funny and charismatic on stage and had beautiful voices. They are talented songwriters with a range that included "Fight Like a Girl" that touches so deeply it makes you cry and the cute and witty "Karma is a Female Dog." I'd see these girls again any day!

Sydney Rhame was an absolute revelation! This child was amazing! It is so hard to believe that someone so talented both musically and lyrically could be only 12 years old. She is so mature in her songwriting skills and so poised on stage that I'm sure she is going to have a bright future in music. I can't wait to see where her talent takes her and will be happy to say we were lucky enough to see her perform when she was just starting out!

Today was pure sunshine! It was day spent with friends in the Village, at the park, and down on the beach. A perfect day made even better by yet another unexpected treat courtesy of Chef Jayson Ridinger and Moo Cow Cream, the genius behind the avocado ice cream I mentioned in my last entry. We visited Moo Cow for the first time this afternoon and I tried new flavors. My choices: cinnamon buttermilk and chocolate pinot noir. Absolutely divine! Declan stuck with traditional flavors of Oreo and peppermint, but they were no less tasty! I'm already planning another visit to try green tea or lemongrass, or both, or maybe just to indulge in that wonderful avocado once again! Coming from a family of ice cream junkies, I will admit I am not one, but Moo Cow might change that! What was that I was saying about all the healthy fruits and veggies I just put in my fridge? Well, anyway . . . welcome to St. Simons Island, Moo Cow, thanks for bringing us a little bit of heaven -- one scoop at a time!

You Are What You Eat?

At the beginning of the year, one of my friends began a "Garden of Eden" type diet that allowed him only to eat food in its raw form -- nothing processed or artificial. He ate a vast assortment of fruits and vegetables and he described making smoothies, shakes, ice cream and all sorts of healthy concoctions from all natural ingredients. I envied his ability to make this commitment and stay dedicated. I know I wouldn't have been that strong -- especially post-holidays, during football (junk food) season, and with family in town. He enjoyed the diet and did very well sticking to it. I, on the other hand, ate and drank what I wanted.

Yesterday I went grocery shopping to fill a sadly neglected pantry and refrigerator. I've been wanting salad, carrots, avocados, fresh vegetables, apples, bananas and all sorts of other fruit and have found my refrigerator to be woefully lacking. So I went nuts in the produce department and came home and filled my crispers with everything ranging from green beans to purple plums. I thought about my friend and his healthy diet and was pleased that I too was making some better decisions with food choices.

Today, I got a message from my friend telling me that he went to a local sweet shop this afternoon. When I replied that going to get ice cream there sounded pretty good, he told me that it isn't the ice cream that he likes at the sweet shop. Instead, he listed chocolate dipped rice krispy treats, buckeyes, fudge, and brownies as been the main attractions. He said he likes to believe that they are all organic and made with all natural products...right!

I thought the fact that I was stocking my fridge with fresh fruits and veggies while my "healthy" friend just indulged himself at the local sweet shop was pretty funny. Just enough irony there to merit a blog, I figured.

I spent a few hours tonight indulging as well at A Taste of Glynn, a big restaurant showcase/cook-off with plentiful food of both the healthy and non-healthy varieties. Perhaps one of my favorite culinary creations of the evening was avocado ice cream. It might sound strange but it was wonderful! Only fitting considering that it combines both the healthy and the unhealthy to make something absolutely delicious.

A Birthday in a Bar

I realized last night when looking over the blog entries that were so few and far between this month that I failed to observe a very important occasion with an entry, and I feel horrible about that. So, despite the fact that this entry is more than 3 weeks late, it is no less important than it would have been on the date it should have been posted: March 3.

The number 333 is magical. Three-three-oh-three is the date my son came into this world. And on Thursday, March 3, we celebrated Declan's 8th birthday at Ziggy's. That's right...Ziggy's.

Those of you who live here know Ziggy's as a popular bar and night spot. It's where people go to drink and dance 'til the wee hours of the morning. It is also where my child requested that we hold his birthday party...again. A bar? For a child's birthday party? Being the super cool mom that I am, of course I agreed it would be perfect! It makes me think of that scene in "Sweet Home Alabama" where Reese Witherspoon says to her old friend from high school, "Look at you, you've got a baby...in  a bar!" But really, that's not exactly how it is here...I mean this is Georgia, not Alabama, after all!

Once a month, Ziggy's has a Family Fun Night between 5-7pm. During that time, the owner puts on kid-friendly dance music like Hannah Montana, Taylor Swift and the Jonas Brothers, turns on the disco ball, and lets the kids go wild. There's family-friendly food and the grown-ups can enjoy adult beverages while the kids dance and run around. It's a great idea.

Last year, when we went to Family Fun Night in February, they announced that the next one would be March 3. Declan was thrilled to know that it would be on his birthday and asked me if we could be there for it. I didn't have to think too hard about it -- it's a ready-made party. All I would have to do is bring a cake, some birthday decorations and balloons, and send out special invitations to Declan's friends to join us there. This was a no-brainer. I okayed the plan with the bar's owners and Declan got to party like a rock star on his birthday. It was terrific!

This year, Ziggy's changed the night of the Family Fun Night, and once again it fell right on March 3. Declan asked if we could return to Ziggy's once again for his birthday party. I was on board with that idea immediately! I ordered a big cake enough to feed anyone who might attend, a big bouquet of balloons to decorate the table, and sent out invitations by hand and by internet to our friends. We had a blast once again thanks to the great staff at Ziggy's and our friends that showed up to join the fun.

So, yes, my son turned 8 this month. I can't believe it. I remember that day in the hospital like it was yesterday, but it also seems like a lifetime ago. I thank God every day for the blessing of this child in my life. I can barely remember life without Declan in it. He is the world to me. Even though we have both good days and bad, Declan does make me smile every single day. And that is why I am happy to indulge him by celebrating his birthday the way he wants to celebrate it...in a bar.

Sisters and Bridesmaids

A couple years ago, at the request and urging of my friends Lynda Dalton Gallagher and Mary Miller, I stepped out of my comfort zone and onto a stage for the first time. Lynda is a very talented actor and director of local theater and Mary is a gifted playwright and author. Lynda asked me to play a part in an ensemble comedy that Mary had written and she would be staging around Christmas. I told them both that the only time I had ever been in a play was in grade school productions, but that I would be willing to give the role a shot if they really thought I'd be able to hold my own with the seasoned actors that had been cast.

And so I took the stage as one of three sisters in Mary's semi-autobiographic family comedy, "Unfinished Dreams." Leslie Jackson, a gifted Brunswick music teacher and veteran of Island Players musicals, played my pregnant sister, Elizabeth. Dawn Dyche, a talented singer with The Not Brothers and seasoned thespian, played my ditzy younger sister, Babs. Veteran actors Janet Sikes and Glenn Sellers rounded out the cast as our parents. While learning lines is difficult, I had help from my fellow cast members, my favorite "word Nazi" Clynne Morgan, and friends like C.A.P.E. Theater's Heather Schultz and Dawn's husband, Mike, another talented actor, director, and singer . . . and my darling son too, who listened to me say lines over and over in the car and never hesitated to tell me when I missed a word or messed up a line!

The play was well received by audiences and the experience of working with these incredibly talented people was something I will always cherish. They were helpful and generous and made me feel like a welcome part of the theater family. The cast itself also became like family. Somehow these "sisters" became my sisters. I don't think anyone was more excited than I was when my "pregnant sister" announced that she was really pregnant. When baby Jack was born to Leslie and her husband, Denny, it was like I was a proud aunt once again. I just met Jack in person for the first time a couple weeks ago and terrified the poor child with my squeals of excitement!

The "Unfinished Dreams" experience was so positive for me that I didn't pause for a minute when Lynda asked me to read the script for "Five Women Wearing the Same Dress" a few months later. Only a few pages into it I discovered that we were going to have a very different kind of production on our hands. This play was by American Beauty writer Alan Ball. It had sex, drugs and rock and roll. It was filled with foul language, raunchy discussions of sex, and themes of homosexuality and sexual abuse. Wow. How would the Sea Island crowd react to that? My character? A smart, clumsy, charm-school educated, wise-cracking, and always-eating lesbian named Mindy. And wait . . . we would all be wearing identical hideous sequined green bridesmaids dresses (which were really prom dresses.) I was so in!

My fellow bridesmaids were: Amy Lovin, a Brunswick High teacher who might possibly be the funniest person I know; Liz Gowen, another teacher and the sweet, beautiful wife of the man my son thinks is one of the coolest guys ever, Locos' owner, Zack Gowen; Krista Harris, the wonderful wild child with whom I used to work at The Brunswick News; and Susan Kohler, a dedicated stay-at-home mom and veteran of local stage productions. Amy and Liz were fresh off of the Island Players production of "Come Blow Your Horn" and their castmate Rob Clarkson had the role of our token cute male usher. We came out of the box swinging for the fences with a fantastic poster created by my friend, talented graphic designer, Stacey Nichols. Just that poster made people want to see the play! And then there was the buzz...

Once we finished the opening weekend, everyone was talking about the play. How "real" the dialogue and the characters were. Women loved it, they came back and brought their friends or their husbands. We sold out nightly. When the show ended its run, people were asking when we'd be doing it again. It was amazing! I even got the heady experience of receiving scene applause -- when an audience claps following an actor's delivery in the middle of a scene -- following a tongue-in-cheek beauty pageant contestant monologue that ends "And here's my tits, now my butt, and my tits again...." Making the audience laugh like that is positively electric and I had so much fun doing it!

As for the "Five Women" cast, we had a chemistry that resonated with the audience and we too became a big family. We all wish we could get together more often. Some of us see each other when our busy schedules permit, and we have a great time when we do get together. Amy, Liz, Krista and Susan may have been bridesmaids in the play but they have also become the sisters of my heart. For a girl whose real family includes only brothers, I love that God has found a way to provide me with some wonderful sisters. And I'd be willing to add Rob as another younger brother too. Lynda will always be the mother of our motley bunch. 

With such amazing experiences tucked under my belt, I congratulate myself for being brave enough to do something new and a little scary. I have discovered that acting is something I enjoy immensely and I have made such great friends with each production. I eagerly await this summer's production of "Dixie Swim Club" in the new Brunswick Actors' Theatre. We have a new venue and an official name. I look forward to working with old friends and making new ones. I hope your faces will be among the ones I see in the audience . . . or maybe on that stage with me one day!

**A special side note: I might also be the fertility goddess of the theater. Leslie Jackson became pregnant during our production of "Unfinished Dreams." Liz Gowen announced her pregnancy during the last weeks of "Five Women." Yesterday, Peggy Sue Gowen entered the world prior to her expected arrival date much to her parents' delight. She is a beautiful baby girl (just like her mama) and I again feel like a proud aunt. I can't wait to meet this sweet girl.

Expect the Unexpected

The best things in life are unexpected - because there were no expectations. - Eli Khamarov

They say nothing in life is certain but death and taxes, but I disagree. In my life, there's definitely one other sure thing: the unexpected is much more likely to occur than the expected. I find that whenever I take the time to put some thought and planning into something, the universe often intervenes to disrupt with other plans for me. And, conversely, if I'm busy living with the chaos of daily life with very little thought or planning, the universe often throws in a wicked fastball or a wild curve just to see if I'm paying attention. I like to think that when God granted me the ability to recognize and appreciate humor and irony it was because he was aware that my life would be filled with both.

In a recent Facebook status update, I quoted Dante's catch phrase from Kevin Smith's classic indy film, Clerks. If you don't know the movie, Dante is the manager of a Quick Stop convenient store who's filling in by working someone else's shift and complains throughout the movie, "I'm not even supposed to be here today!"

Sometimes that's how I feel when I look at my life. I, like many other young adults and college students, had a pretty set plan for my life. I was going to study international law and work in the corporate world. I was well on my way, earning a double major in French and Pre-Law at a Big 10 University. I had studied in France and had an internship in a corporate law department waiting for me. Then I met my ex-husband my senior year in college and it all changed...

While I hadn't been entertaining thoughts of marriage and a family, I fell in love and couldn't imagine my life without this guy. When I left Michigan after graduation to return to Illinois and complete an internship, he called me one night less than a week after we had parted and asked me to marry him. I was surprised because he was in the Army and would probably be stationed overseas and I still had three years of law school ahead of me, but we agreed that we wanted to take whatever journeys we had ahead of us together.

Instead of staying in Chicago to attend law school as I had planned, we were married and I moved to Michigan. When I started law school there, I discovered I had no interest whatsoever in international law. I was a strong writer and did well speaking in moot court competitions, so I honed these skills and when I started working, it was in general practice and litigation. My ex-husband ended up taking a civilian job and resigned his commission, landing us in Michigan -- I place I had never intended to stay -- indefinitely. What happened to that job I had pictured as a corporate attorney in the international arena?

When we left Michigan for the East Coast to pursue my ex-husband's career path, I discovered I was pregnant. This took my life in yet another direction that I had not imagined. Becoming a mother fundamentally changed me as a person. And the changes just kept coming...

Today I find myself a single mom working as an assistant editor of a local publication on a little island in South Georgia that I never knew existed before moving here. This is definitely not where I pictured myself when I set out on that path I had so carefully laid a few decades ago. As Dante says, "I'm not even suppposed to be here today!" And, as I explained to a friend, when I say that, unlike Dante, I don't mean that I'm not happy with where I am or that it's a bad thing...it's just so very different than the direction I had imagined my life would take. No Chicago-Paris jet-setting life of corporate meetings and travel. Instead, I have a flip-flop casual lifestyle with a job that allows me to meet amazing people and attend fun events. I enjoy little-hand-in-big-hand morning walks on the beach finding hermit crabs, sunny afternoons in the park and at the pool, and sharing popcorn during movie night snuggles on the couch with content dogs snoring nearby. Not a bad trade, actually.

What those decades of surprise twists and turns on the path of life have taught me is not to fear the unexpected -- it is neither inherently bad nor good, it is just unexpected! I've also learned the importance of being able to adapt to those changes and roll with the punches. As Ann Landers aptly stated, "Nobody says you must laugh, but a sense of humor can help you overlook the unattractive, tolerate the unpleasant, cope with the unexpected, and smile through the day." So, in case you were wondering (or concerned by my abysmal lack of recent blog postings), I'm still smiling and laughing every day!

Picture Perfect Day

Well, today my blog starts with a heavy sigh. Today was the PERFECT day. The sun was shining, the sky was clear and beautiful, and there was a myriad of things to do in the Golden Isles. I was looking forward to heading out to a fun and free community event with live bands, good food, and plenty of friends. But when I began the task of getting ready for the day I decided to tackle some cleaning that was put aside this week for things that were much more fun...a Kid Rock concert, a day in the sun, nights out with good friends. But once I started I discovered that there was really a lot that needed to be done and just should not be put off any longer. Really. Floors and laundry were sorely in need of immediate attention. And so I spent this gorgeous day inside taking care of things that could have been done an hour or two at a time on those days when I went out and played. So frustrating!

So where's the smile in this? I think about those things that I did when I wasn't cleaning...the phenomenal Kid Rock concert, the hours playing in the sun, the nights filled with abundant laughter and sangria, great conversation and pizza...and those thoughts light up my face and warm my heart. Yes, house cleaning is necessary, and yes, I absolutely hate doing it -- especially on warm and sunny days. However, I am willing to trade this one day of play to take on the chores I missed in order to enjoy all those experiences I had last week, because I wouldn't have missed out on those good times for the world!  Spending a sunny Sunday cleaning is a small price to pay. I'm sure there will be more sunny Sundays in my future, so I'll just make the most of those when they come.

Mood Music

If you hadn't noticed, music is a key element in my life. I have an ever-changing soundtrack that reflects my mood. And if I need to change my mood, finding some tunes to fill the day's playlist is the best way for me to begin. My iPod is packed with songs ranging from Celtic fiddle music to reggae, punk classics to moody and brooding alternative, bubble-gum pop to dirty R&B. From Nine Inch Nails to Etta James, I can always find something that suits my frame of mind.

Recently one of my friends was talking about the allure of the mix tape. I absolutely agree with her. From the time I really starting listening to music, I made my own combinations of songs based on my favorite selections off the radio or chosen from my own music collection. I remember preferring the K-Tel mix albums of hit songs by various artists over most of the albums released by a single band or singer. It was rare that I liked every song on an album back then, and that became increasingly true in later years. (Some memorable exceptions: Billy Joel, Def Leppard, U2, The Police, Tracy Chapman, Depeche Mode.) One of those mix albums in my collection that I remember included "Pop Muzik" by M, "Blue Morning, Blue Day" by Foreigner, and "Lonesome Loser" by the Little River Band.

Making a special mix of songs for someone or just for yourself that reflects an emotion or a moment in time is like trapping an insect in amber. Even if the emotions change or that moment is long gone, the music can take you right back there.

I love iTunes and digital music for the way it has made the ability to create your own playlist with any combination of music so much simpler. Whether it's work-out music, driving music, music for a romantic evening or music to wake you up, you can now easily access whatever music suits your mood or your occasion and you don't have to buy a full album for the two songs that you like.

What was on my playlist while I was out enjoying the sunshine on this beautiful day? Since I had no iPod with me, I listened to my tunes outside Palm Coast Coffee where the musicians sang a wide range of songs accompanied by guitar, accordion, and even bagpipes today. That's right, bagpipes.

Another thing you might not know about me...I LOVE bagpipes. I've spent many years attending Celtic music festivals, Highland games and the like, and I am absolutely enamored with the music there. Fiddles, whistles, pipes and drums make my heart sing. There is nothing like hearing those first notes of "Scotland The Brave" from a gigantic massed band. So now that St. Patrick's Day is approaching, I'll break out my March standards that include tunes by The Dropkick Murphys, The Pogues, The Chieftans, Jeremy Kittle, and Solas with pub essentials like "Whiskey in the Jar," "The Wild Rover," and, of course, "The Unicorn Song."

And I'll wrap up here with a little bit of trivia and a tune to get you ready for St. Patty's Day. "The Unicorn Song," while a big hit for The Irish Rovers, was actually written by that wonderful poetic genius Shel Silverstein whose books "Where the Sidewalk Ends" and "The Giving Tree" are some of my favorites. (And -- a postscript here -- he also penned Johnny Cash's "A Boy Named Sue" and "On the Cover of Rolling Stone" which landed Dr. Hook in that very spot!) I just discovered this nugget of information today, so I thought I'd share. For those of you who have never heard (or heard of) "The Unicorn Song," here you go. I hope it makes you too smile.

The Roller Coaster Ride of Life

For the past week or so I've been caught on the roller coaster of life and while I've been doing plenty of smiling, my blog has been languishing. So let me bring you up to date on some of the things that have been contributing to my happiness of late:

My mom and my step-dad are here from Illinois and having family here makes me very happy. I love sharing this wonderful community I live in with them. I love falling into a natural routine when they are around. I think it’s awesome that my son can spend time with the grandparents he adores. They’ll only be on the island a little while longer, so I’m trying to make the most of the time they’re here.

The sun and warmth have finally arrived and it’s clear that Spring is around the corner. The bright, clear skies and promise of azalea blooms energizes me and lifts my spirits every day. Weekend mornings begin with a walk on the beach and afternoons often end up in the park. We are well and truly blessed to live here.

Rewarding work will always put a smile on my face. I handled a story that dealt with a very controversial issue over the past week. I had a lot of information from people who could not speak on the record and plenty of secondhand knowledge from others. After muddling my way through what could or could not be said, I found my own way to focus on what I thought was important. I got some very positive feedback about the story and the approach I took to it today and that made it well worth any frustration I may have had during the writing process.

I am surrounded by supportive friends and wonderful, generous, creative and inspiring people every day. I am part of a community in the truest sense of the word, and again I must say that I feel well and truly blessed.

I’m content just being me. I’m not perfect. I have faults and flaws, wrinkles and scars, and I’m okay with that. Those things are part of what make me the person I am, and I like the person I am. I can’t be everything to everyone and I can only do what I have the ability to do. Self-acceptance makes me very happy.

The ringtone on my phone is Kid Rock’s “Roll On” and it’s my take on life these days: “Roll on, roll on, roller coaster. We’re one day older and one step closer. Roll on, there’s mountains to climb. Roll on, we’re on borrowed time. Roll on, roller coaster. Roll on tonight.”  Life is indeed a roller coaster ride. It is an unbelievably short, fast ride that is filled with unexpected twists and turns, mountains to climb and steep drops too. Grab those moments of happiness when they present themselves because they may be just as fleeting, and you never know when the next hairpin turn will come or when the ride will end, so enjoy it while you can. “And,” as Kid says, “always have a good time. It’s all love and good times. Let’s all have a good time. Yeah.” 

 So, until my car comes to a complete stop again, you all enjoy the ride. And keep smiling!

A Valentine's Blog

There's not really much on my mind tonight. I've enjoyed two gorgeous days of sunshine, walks on the beach, time spent with family and friends, and all is well in my world. Tomorrow begins a new week and who knows what it will bring.

And speaking of tomorrow, it does happen to be Valentine's Day. Whether I've been in a relationship or not, I've always been a bit of a cynic about this "holiday." It seems such a manufactured thing to chose a day to celebrate the people you love. To me, you should show the people you love how you feel about them every day, not just on February 14. And showing someone you love them is not really about cards, flowers, chocolate, jewelry, or any other tangible item. True love is doing all those little things that tell them you care -- listening when they speak, performing small acts of kindness, sharing special moments, and making memories together.

So tomorrow, make the ones you love feel special, but don't forget to do that on all of the other days of the week too. I promise you it will bring you joy every time. And don't forget to love yourself too. In the wise words of Lucy Van Pelt, "All I really need is love, but a little chocolate now and then doesn't hurt!" Peace, love, and Lindt truffles to you all.

Sleep, Blessed Sleep

Of late I have been plagued by restless nights of fitful slumber. Those awful nights where you wake up every couple of hours or can't get to sleep at all despite the fact that you are dead tired. Thankfully, those nights have finally passed and I am once again sleeping soundly. (I have had an occurrence or two where I have woken in a complete panic because my legs were pinned and I could not move, but quickly realized that having one 70+ pound dog sleeping on each side of me was the cause of this temporary paralysis.)

I generally blog right before I head to bed, so the return of blessed sleep actually caused me to miss a blog or two. Now, feeling fully rested, I will dedicate an entry to that wonderful state of unconsciousness: sleep! A good night's rest definitely makes me smile. I love a night filled with rich, colorful dreams that end only with the musical tones of the alarm clock in the morning. I cherish the mornings that I don't feel tired, but refreshed and happy to start a new day. I find I take sleep for granted and don't really feel thankful for a good night's rest until I have started to experience nights without it.

Aldous Huxley perhaps said it best: "That we are not much sicker and much madder than we are is due exclusively to that most blessed and blessing of all natural graces, sleep." And so, with that thought, I bid you all good night.

The Power of a Hug

On Monday, when I dropped Declan off at his classroom and turned to walk back down the hallway I was greeted by the wide open arms of a boy named Alexander. Alexander was in Declan's Kindergarten class and is a sweet little boy with a wonderful family. He has always come to me for hugs and I quite willingly give them. My face lit up to see that when Alexander glimpsed me from all the way at the other end of the hallway, he stretched his arms wide and came walking straight toward me. There is nothing I like more than extra hugs from children who aren't my own to start my day! 

So imagine my surprise when, upon seeing Alexander approaching me with outstretched arms, another little boy in the hallway -- this one I don't know at all -- also put his arms out and made a beeline to where I was crouched over to give Alexander his hug! I quickly opened my arms wider to encompass both boys and exclaimed, "Wow! Today I get two for one! What a deal!!" These two adorable little boys, full of unconditional love, made my day. I was delighted that I was the object of their affection that morning and I couldn't stop smiling. Even thinking about it now brings a smile. 

We do a lot of hugging at our house and I say share the love! Hugging is such a wonderful thing. It conveys joy, sympathy, understanding, love, and a myriad of other emotions without the need for words. Just to embrace another person's body in your arms is to share your heart for a moment. 

I will leave you with a poem about hugging written by Shel Silverstein. It says it all.

Hug O' War

I will not play at tug o' war

I'd rather play at hug o' war,

Where everyone hugs Instead of tugs Where everyone giggles And rolls on the rug, Where everyone kisses And everyone grins And everyone cuddles And everyone wins.

 

The Legend Still Lives

On February 6, 1945, in Jamaica, Robert Nesta Marley was born. He was only 36 years old when he died in 1981. It wasn't until I was in college that I discovered the music and wisdom of Bob Marley. The man who sang "One love. One heart. Let's get together and feel all right." had the right idea.

"Life is one big road with lots of signs.
So when you riding through the ruts,
don't complicate your mind. Flee from
hate, mischief and jealousy. Don't bury
your thoughts, put your vision to
reality. Wake up and live!"

I remember returning from school to my family's house during one summer break and my younger brother coming in to my room where Bob Marley played on my CD player. He told me he didn't mind the reggae, but he really didn't like the way Marley had ruined a perfectly good Eric Clapton song. The poor boy had yet to learn. Perhaps Clapton's version of "I Shot the Sheriff" was more successful or well-known, but it was still a cover of Marley's great song.

Bob Marley's music and his message were healing and unifying. He was a bright shining light that was lost too soon. His "Three Little Birds" is one of my very favorite songs to play to instantly cheer my mood. So, on the anniversary of his birthday, I pay homage to this remarkable man.  Happy Birthday, Bob.

Tell Me a Story

Raconter - "to tell a story" was the French word-a-day from my favorite blog this week and I've been doing a lot of writing both professionally and personally over the past few days, so it's got me thinking.

There was once a photo somewhere out there of me as a little 4 or 5 year-old girl, sitting in a big chair, reading to a group of other children at the pre-school I attended. The school used it to advertise. It is perhaps one of the earliest images to capture my spirit. I am a storyteller by nature. Whether reading stories written by others, discussing my own experiences, or sharing information, this is a gift I have been given. 

I love to tell stories. It's what I do on the job. I take information that I learn and turn it into something that someone else might find interesting to read. I also tell other people's stories. I meet people and turn the information that they share with me into a story about them. Storytelling is an art. There is a rhythm to it, a fluidity of words, and a lyricism of language. I love everything about it.

In my personal writing, such as this blog, I do the same. I relay the events in my life or my moods and emotions in a way in which other people can relate, rather than a catalog of activities or feelings. I enjoy choosing the perfect turn of phrase. I want my reader to have no doubt as to what is being expressed and I want to use language that draws the reader in. I want my words to make you feel. The seamless transition from the mind to the page is something very alluring to me.

As a reader, my attention can be captured by a great story. Great writing captures my heart. So, you want to seduce me? Tell me a story . . . and make it good. If you're lucky, I might tell you one too.  

The Eyes Have It

"Look at me."

This phrase immediately grabs your attention and draws your eyes to those of the speaker. Perhaps it's to confirm that you are paying attention. Maybe it's to gauge a reaction. At times it's to convey the severity of the situation. In any case, what is sought is a connection -- an exchange of emotion through the meeting of eyes. How powerful!

The human eye is amazing. It is said that the eyes are the windows to our soul. Think about how much information and emotion we convey with merely a glance! We are able to express frustration, joy, anger, sadness, disappointment, amusement, excitement and so much more without ever uttering a word. It can be subtle or obvious. It may even be unintentional. How many times have you rolled your eyes in frustration or shot a quick look of irritation at something or someone before your brain thought to control that emotion? My laughter often hits my eyes before it bubbles out. Our eyes hold our most immediate reactions and perhaps the most honest.

"No one can lie, no one can hide anything, when he looks directly into someone's eyes." -- Paulo Coelho.

Don't underestimate the importance of eye contact. When someone says, "Look at me," they are telling you to read what is in their eyes or seeking answers in yours. Sometimes the information conveyed in that look can be more powerful than any words that can be spoken. Wow. Are you paying attention? Have you learned to listen with your eyes as well as your ears? Have you thought about what your eyes say?

I love watching people's eyes. Watching the array of emotions that play there from the glint of amusement to the flare of passion, the spark of understanding to wide-eyed disbelief is so interesting. Text messages with winks and silly icons can't come close to conveying what we say without a word. As for what my eyes have to say, I'll leave that to you all for your interpretation. Suffice it to say that they are never silent.

The Lullaby of the Rain

It was gray, dreary, and cold today. Little showers of rain occasionally, but mostly just a dismal-looking day with a damp chill and the threat of rain. When there's a day like that, I just want it to go ahead and rain. If you're going to take away my sunshine, there should at least be something pleasant to replace it. I don't mind rain at all, it's the gray skies that accompany it that bother me.

Now, tonight, I hear the rain on my roof and against my windows. Because it's nighttime I don't have to look at dreary clouds, so it can rain and rain without me being the slightest bit upset. In fact, I love the sound of the rain when I go to sleep. There's nothing quite like that noise, and even the distant rumbling of thunder, to lull me into the land of dreams. And that's where I'm off to now, so I'll leave you with a lovely quote from Langston Hughes: "Let the rain kiss you. Let the rain beat upon your head with silver liquid drops. Let the rain sing you a lullaby."

Let It Snow, Let It Snow, Let It Snow

Today I'm happy that I'm not in one of the many regions that are being hit by Blizzard 2011. Unfortunately, my friends and family in the Midwest and East Coast are not as lucky. It seems the Chicago area is one of those who get the brunt of the system. I hope everyone stays safe and snug until it passes.

I've been berated for posting what a beautiful beach day we had on Sunday while this storm was looming over the heads of my dear ones. So, sorry guys, I got a little excited about the first really nice day that I could go walk on the beach and forgot what it feels like to be someone who lives with Winter. Remember I've only been here for 4 1/2 years, it's still kind of novel to me.

I assure you, I feel your pain. I spent years scraping ice off of cars, driving in salty slush, shoveling driveways and front walks, and bundling up so not an inch of skin would be exposed. I get it. I remember days walking across "The Tundra" to class in college, when the cold wind would freeze the tears it forced from your eyes. I remember a very scary life or death moment in a car that hit a patch of black ice on a highway and spun to face oncoming traffic. I remember whiteouts, windchill factors well below zero, and ice storms that weighed down trees and power lines. I have lived through many a snowstorm, and some were indeed called blizzards.

So, I apologize if it rubs you the wrong way when I celebrate the glorious weather I'm experiencing on a little barrier island in South Georgia. I understand, but I did my time and nothing makes me happier than not having to deal with snow in the winter anymore. If it makes you feel better, you can all tell me how lovely it is in the summer when I'm complaining about stifling heat and bugs. Right now, though, batten down your hatches and stay warm!

ROFL

"Laugh at yourself and at life. Not in the spirit of derision or whining self-pity, but as a remedy, a miracle drug, that will ease your pain, cure your depression, and help you to put in perspective that seemingly terrible defeat and worry with laughter at your predicaments, thus freeing your mind to think clearly toward the solution that is certain to come. Never take yourself too seriously."
- Mandino, Og

This evening I had a great phone conversation with one of my closest friends. It was filled with side-splitting, eye-tearing laughter. Now, of course, the laughter was directed at me so maybe it shouldn't have been so funny, but it was a balm for my soul. Stepping back and seeing life for the comedy that it is can be important every now and again. I wasn't dealing with pain or depression, but still the ability to laugh at myself came in handy just the same. I'm glad, because I'm sure there will be plenty more opportunities to use this gift in the future. ROFL = Life is good!

Pretty in Pink

Yesterday I attended a wedding and it was one of the first really nice, warm, sunny days that we have had in a long time. The occasion definitely called for a cute dress and flirty shoes, so of course my fingernails and toenails had to look their best too. So out came the array of polishes in their many shades. What to choose?

I have colors ranging from a blackish purple to the palest pink. Peacock blue, glittering gold, sparkling silver, and glistening greens are some of those included in the mix. But it felt like a pink kind of day: happy and girly. So I narrowed my choices to "Pink I Can" and "Back to the Fuschia."

Just reading the names made me chuckle. I recently played a character named Mindy in a play set in the '80's called "Five Women Wearing the Same Dress." In the beginning of the second act, she questions why makeup is always named after food, naming colors like "Cha Cha Chinaberry, Maple Melon Mist, Raspberry Whip, Tangerine Dream, Simply Strawberry..." Trisha, another character chides her, saying "Well, what else are they going to name it after, Mindy? What are they going to say, 'Bleeding Wound Red?'" When we did the play, however, not a single one of the nail polishes that we used as props had a food name. Names were things like "Santa Fe," "Rose Blush," "Back of the Fuschia" and "Color Me Crimson." Perhaps "Bleeding Wound Red" is not so farfetched these days.

In any case, I decided that "Pink I Can" was just too pale when not contrasted with tan skin and settled on the bright pink of "Back to the Fuschia." A half hour or so later, all coats considered, my look was transformed. It's funny what a little polish can do. My feet went from naked to needing to be shown off. Just looking at my flirty pink tootsies made me smile.

Since I'm usually wearing flip-flops, sandals and open-toed shoes when it's warm here and tend to go barefoot more often than not when shoes are unnecessary, my toes are always painted in the summer. In the winter, I don't think about it much. My toes are tucked inside socks, stockings, shoes or boots, so why bother? Seeing my happy feet reminds me why. I like being a girl! In winter I get all bundled up in heavy clothes and just want to be comfortable and warm. I forget how much fun bouncy skirts and flowing sundresses can be. Pink toes make me think of those days. And now that I've seen what a difference a little color can make, those sunny days are here to stay!

"I believe in manicures. I believe in overdressing. I believe in primping at leisure and wearing lipstick. I believe in pink. I believe happy girls are the prettiest girls. I believe that tomorrow is another day, and... I believe in miracles."  - Audrey Hepburn

The Nature of Connections

Tonight I'm musing about relationships. I think it's so interesting that someone that you haven't seen in years can seem closer to you than someone you see and talk to every day. It's the nature of connections, I guess. The way you can hit it off immediately with someone, yet know someone else for years and never really know what makes them tick or find that common ground.

Anyone who knows me knows that I've never met a stranger. But why is it that we feel more comfortable around some people than around others? It's not always because we know them better or have spent more time with them. Sometimes we instinctively trust someone we've just met. Why?

There are people in my life that I know I can just pick up a conversation with no matter if I haven't spoken to them in weeks or months, even years. When we talk, it's like the time and and distance between us just melts away. My friend, Laura, and her family drive from Michigan to Vero Beach, FL around Easter each year for Spring Break, and make a point to stop near St. Simons along the way so we can at least grab a meal together. Last year, she called me to tell me that they had decided not to stop for lunch, but instead planned on staying the night so I could show them my island and we could have some more time together. I was thrilled. We spent the time laughing about old friends and parties that we had and places we had been just like they had happened yesterday. And though we may have only spoken by phone or email infrequently throughout the months that intervene, if they stop again this year, we'll do the same. It's so nice to have friends (and family) like that.

Does the connection that we feel with these people come from shared memories, common experiences, similar ideologies? I really don't know. How do friends gravitate to each other? Why do some friends last forever while others come and go out of our lives like the seasons? These things fascinate me.

Facebook has made these connections even more interesting. I can now stay in touch with people I lost contact with years ago, even though we are now in various states, doing very different things with our lives. And in the same way as in real life, some of those connections are just casual acquaintances that I'd like to keep up with but don't have much contact with, while others have prompted phone calls and visits and strengthening of relationships that otherwise might have been lost.

You never know exactly what role someone will play in your life, or how long they will be a part of it, for that matter. People who enter your life briefly or unexpectedly might have a greater impact or leave a more lasting impression than others that you might have expected to do so. So when someone reaches out for your hand, grab hold and make that connection.

Depeche Mode Was Right

I have been smiling all day today for a variety of reasons. These smiles have ranged from smiles of pure, unbridled happiness, to rueful "are you kidding me?" smiles, to head-thrown back belly laughs at some utterly comical moments. At one point today I swore that my life was what happened when God turned on the TV to watch her "stories."

Without going into detail about my day, suffice it to say that God has an exquisite sense of irony and, as Depeche Mode said, "a sick sense of humor."

And this is a lesson I should have already learned. When my family first moved to Georgia and I got my job on St. Simons Island, we lived about an hour away. I would load my son into the car each morning and make the monotonous, but not overly stressful, trip to the island to drop him off at preschool not far from my office. One day, I saw a man walking his daughter to the preschool from their house across the street. I took a look around the neighborhood. It was filled with nice, modest homes with little yards and beautiful live oak trees draped with Spanish moss. I remember sighing and saying to myself, "I wish I lived here. To be on the island, in walking distance from the school, and close to work. That would be just perfect."

After my ex-husband and I divorced, I moved to a small house on the island. It was so much closer to work and to Declan's school on the north side of the island. One evening not too long after the move, I was driving down my street and waved to Scott, a friend who lives with his wife and daughter a few houses down, and realized that Scott and Parker were the dad and daughter that I had seen when I said my little prayer a few years earlier. So here I am, exactly where I said I wanted to be. In that very same little neighborhood, in walking distance from Declan's old preschool. I certainly didn't get here in the way I imagined it when I made that "wish," but I'm here just the same. See? God does listen.

So one of the morals of the day is be careful what you wish for, because you just may get it. And then what? I'm really not sure . . . but I'm still smiling!

Listening With Your Heart

Today I received a wonderful compliment from Christy Trowbridge, the artist I profiled in the current issue of Coastal Illustrated, about how I really "get" her. She told me that, for the first time, a writer put down on the page what she wanted to be said or meant to say even if it wasn't exactly what she did say when we met. I absolutely love hearing that because it is always what I hope to do. As I previously wrote, I really enjoy meeting the people that I write about and I truly enjoy sharing their stories with others. So that fact that Christy liked the article I wrote and thought I was able to convey her thoughts accurately definitely merited a big smile.

When I profile a person, I want to get to know that person. I don't want a question and answer session. I want to get an understanding of what makes them tick, what they are passionate about, and what they are trying to convey about themselves. Open dialogue is important, and while I spend plenty of time talking, what I'm really doing is listening.

Listening seems to be a skill that many people have lost. Are we too caught up in our own world to pay attention to someone else? Are we so distracted by all the other things going on around us that we can't manage to give someone else our undivided attention?

To listen to someone is to not only hear what they are saying but also to process why they are sharing that information and the words they use to do so. When people talk to you do you just hear their words or are you listening to the meaning? Having an understanding of that person's mood and feelings is just as important as hearing the words themselves.

I think conversation is a give and take situation. Not only do you have to listen attentively, you need to acknowledge that you understand what you are being told. It is important to open yourself up to relate shared feelings and experiences. It is in these ways that connections are made. Don't just listen with your ears -- you'll only hear the sounds -- listen with your heart, and you will hear the real message. Remember all good conversations start with good listening.

Guilty Pleasure

 I heard about the TV show Friday Night Lights a few years ago. I knew there had been a movie by the same name that starred Billy Bob Thornton that I had seen, but it didn't make much of an impression. I was hearing great things about the TV show, though, and I have loved Kyle Chandler (Coach Tim Taylor) since I watched him on a TV series called Homefront when I was in college. So, sometime between the second and third seasons, I decided to sit down one afternoon and catch up by watching it on Netflix.

Not only did I like the show, I was blown away by the characters, the strong storylines, and a really good cast. Much to my surprise, what I had intended to be a casual look-see while nothing better was on, turned into a few marathon sessions to catch up with life in Dillon, Texas. The characters were believable and the town had a realistic feel to it. And then there was #33...



Taylor Kitsch playing a troubled Tim Riggins is pure sex on a stick. How could I resist that? Anyway, the show quickly became my new guilty pleasure.

Sadly, I think the show is now in its last season. But I am so glad I found it. It reminded me that there could still be good drama on TV. I felt invested in these characters unlike any contestant I could root for on any reality show. And I wasn't the only one. Friday Night Lights received such critical praise and had such a strong fan base that it became known as the "little TV show that could." Much credit goes to director Peter Berg. The second season had a bit of a bizarre storyline and the season was shortened due to the strike in Hollywood. Berg let the storyline continue to play out even though there were no cameras rolling. This allowed us to return to school with the players in the fall and see what happened over their summer in real time. Brilliant.

The show has been consistently excellent. The first season's cast graduated and new members have filled their places, just as would be expected for each school year. Bad things happen to good people and there isn't always a happy ending, but I've always felt satisfied with story. If you've missed the show, it's still available on Netflix, and the series is winding to a close on TV. A little time with Coach Taylor and his team is time well spent.

So I guess what I'm saying tonight is that Friday Night Lights is my guilty pleasure and that Tim Riggins can put a smile on my face any time. "Clear minds, full hearts, CAN'T LOSE!"