Listening With Your Heart

Today I received a wonderful compliment from Christy Trowbridge, the artist I profiled in the current issue of Coastal Illustrated, about how I really "get" her. She told me that, for the first time, a writer put down on the page what she wanted to be said or meant to say even if it wasn't exactly what she did say when we met. I absolutely love hearing that because it is always what I hope to do. As I previously wrote, I really enjoy meeting the people that I write about and I truly enjoy sharing their stories with others. So that fact that Christy liked the article I wrote and thought I was able to convey her thoughts accurately definitely merited a big smile.

When I profile a person, I want to get to know that person. I don't want a question and answer session. I want to get an understanding of what makes them tick, what they are passionate about, and what they are trying to convey about themselves. Open dialogue is important, and while I spend plenty of time talking, what I'm really doing is listening.

Listening seems to be a skill that many people have lost. Are we too caught up in our own world to pay attention to someone else? Are we so distracted by all the other things going on around us that we can't manage to give someone else our undivided attention?

To listen to someone is to not only hear what they are saying but also to process why they are sharing that information and the words they use to do so. When people talk to you do you just hear their words or are you listening to the meaning? Having an understanding of that person's mood and feelings is just as important as hearing the words themselves.

I think conversation is a give and take situation. Not only do you have to listen attentively, you need to acknowledge that you understand what you are being told. It is important to open yourself up to relate shared feelings and experiences. It is in these ways that connections are made. Don't just listen with your ears -- you'll only hear the sounds -- listen with your heart, and you will hear the real message. Remember all good conversations start with good listening.