Love and Romance

I was recently asked if I consider myself a romantic. Hrmmm. A romantic? What does that mean, really? Some flighty, emotional girl who's looking for a Prince Charming to come sweep her off her feet with grand gestures and a showering of flowers and gifts? Some romance novel reading middle-aged woman pining for her Noah as she presses PLAY to view "The Notebook" for the 152nd time? Um...no.

So to go beyond the preconceived stereotype, I turned to my friend, Merriam-Webster, to see how the adjective "romantic" is defined:

1: consisting of or resembling a romance
2: having no basis in fact : imaginary
3: impractical in conception or plan : visionary
4a : marked by the imaginative or emotional appeal of what is heroic, adventurous, remote, mysterious, or idealized
b often capitalized : of, relating to, or having the characteristics of romanticism
c : of or relating to music of the 19th century characterized by an emphasis on subjective emotional qualities and freedom of form; also : of or relating to a composer of this music
5a : having an inclination for romance : responsive to the appeal of what is idealized, heroic, or adventurous
b : marked by expressions of love or affection
c : conducive to or suitable for lovemaking
6: of, relating to, or constituting the part of the hero, especially in a light comedy

Well, yikes! That didn't make it any easier. Alright, now let's take a deeper look...

Most of the definitions in here just don't apply at all (although whether or not I am imaginary has actually been a topic of debate). Do I have an "inclination toward romance?" Or is my life "marked by expressions of love or affection?" This requires some thought.

An inclination toward romance? What IS romance? Candlelight and flowers? Sweet words? While a grand gesture may impress me, it's the small gestures and the little day to day things that win my heart. And sweet words are nice, but more important is the sincerity behind them and the feeling that they are meant for you and you alone. Everybody wants to feel like they are special to someone. Of course I'm the same.

What makes me feel special? When you actively listen to me. When you get to know ME. When I'm not treated as "an interchangeable blonde"--that pretty girl who fits a certain description and guys figure one is just as good as another. When you're interested in what I have to say and you offer your own thoughts and opinions. When you support me, inspire me, encourage me--those things are priceless. I don't need you to agree with me, but I do need you to not be offended, angry, or hurt when I don't agree with you. Someone once said, "There's nothing more erotic than good conversation." There's definitely some truth to that.

"Marked by expressions of love or affection?" If you know me, you know that I'm generally a pretty affectionate person. I think human contact is a wonderful thing. I've written here about the power of a simple hug. It's awesome. Now love . . .

Simply put, I believe in love. That all-encompassing, with your whole heart kind of love. That desire to actively share in the joys and trials of someone else's life. And I want that love to prevail over adversity. I want good to triumph over evil. I root for the underdog to get the win. I believe that miracles do happen in real life. I am also well aware that sometimes bad things happen to good people. And quite often, people don't get what they deserve. As for marriage and "happily ever after," I find that "'til death us do part" is rarely "'til death."

So, I guess it's fair to say that my romanticism is tempered by a healthy dose of realism. However, what I do have that might just tip the scales is an undying spark of hope and a steadfast faith that happiness is not only attainable, but a necessary condition. Yes, I possess unflagging optimism. I know it can be horribly annoying, but I will always be that glass half-full kind of girl.

But when I look at it all and mull through my thoughts on love and romance, it really just comes down to this: every now and then, there will be a song with lyrics like Zac Brown Band' s "Whatever It Is" that turn me into pure girl mush, and I think, "THAT. That is how I want someone to think about me."

Yeah . . . I'm a romantic.