A Day to Celebrate Mothers

Happy Mother's Day. No Eggs Benedict in bed or fresh flowers on the table here this morning because right now my son is with his father celebrating another mother in his life. My turn comes later today. And this, I've decided is okay.

Instead I enjoy a quiet morning of reflection on the nature of motherhood and all the amazing mothers and women that I know. Not only am I blessed to have my own mother still providing her steadfast love and support, there are some strong, smart, sassy women here who are like mothers to me and have let Declan and I enjoy being members of their extended family. I treasure them dearly for being here for me when my mother is so many miles away.

When I look around, I find myself surrounded by friends who are wonderful mothers, from those whose children have been Declan's friends for years to those whose experience I treasure because their children are now adults. I see former childhood friends and classmates who are now mothers sharing their children's accomplishments and celebrating those bonds. It's a joy. And my friends have some pretty incredible mothers too. I am constantly impressed by the women who have shaped these amazing people that I know.

Today is our day. We who have learned to put the happiness of others before our own, who kiss the boo-boos and want to right the wrongs, who love through the good and the bad, the terrific and the terrible. We who endure the tantrums and words that cut to the quick because we know they are the same children who can melt our hearts when their hand creeps unexpectedly into ours or they surprise us with a quick kiss for no reason at all. Nothing will ever be too much for us to take. There will never be too great a burden for us to shoulder for them. We love them unconditionally, every single moment of every single day. They are our world and we are happy to be their sun.

My life changed profoundly when I became a mother. I discovered my true purpose. I had no idea. It still amazes me that I have been given such a valuable gift with such an awesome responsibility. I spend every day trying to get it right and hoping that I'm not too far off the mark.

So, this afternoon I am going to hug my son tight and tell him how happy I am that I am his mom. We're going to go listen to some bands play at the park with friends that include some of those terrific mamas that I know. I'm going to surround him with love, music, laughter, and friends...because that, I think, is how to teach him what is truly important.

The best quote I've seen today: "There is no way to be a perfect mother, just a million ways to be a good one."

Now, my fellow mothers, go celebrate you!

At a Loss for Words

Today a friend of mine stated her intention of keeping a "gratitude" journal in which she mines the diamonds from each day. This made me smile, knowing that very same notion was the origin of this blog. Admittedly I have been abysmal at keeping up with my entries, though I can honestly say I have found something to make me smile each and every day, no matter how bad that day has been. (And, there have been some pretty rough days in the past few months.)

I have also been doing more writing lately, but there's been nothing that I think merits publishing to an audience. So, today, with a primed pen and my friend's new-found inspiration as further impetus for me to once again catalog my thoughts here, I fully intended to post an entry that captured a bit of joy that I found in what was otherwise a pretty miserable Christmas.

However, tonight, now that I have the time to sit and write, I am at a loss for words. Someone I care about is hurting and I feel helpless. My heart aches such that I do not trust my fingers on the keyboard. And so I am glad that I found my smile earlier today in the words of a friend. Since I cannot rely on my own words tonight, I will pass on words written by another that I find beautiful and inspiring, and perhaps someone else can find their smile here:

This is your LIFE. Do what you love, and do it often.

 If you don’t like something, change it.

 If you don’t like your job, quit.

 If you don’t have enough time, stop watching TV. 

If you are looking for the love of your life, stop; they will be waiting for you when you start doing things you love. 

Stop over analyzing, LIFE IS SIMPLE. All emotions are beautiful. 

When you eat, appreciate every last bite. 

Open your mind, arms, and heart to new things and people; we are united in our differences. 

Ask the next person you see what their passion is, and share your inspiring dream with them. 

Travel often; getting lost will help you find yourself. 

Some opportunities only come once, seize them. 

Life is about the people you meet, and the things you create with them so go out and start creating.
LIFE IS SHORT. Live your dream and wear your passion. 

A Real Family Thanksgiving

Thanksgiving has always been a traditional holiday in my house. From the time I was little, it was the day when the family gathered around the table. When I grew up and got married, I still tried to make it back home for this special day with my family. If I wasn't able to, we often spent the day with a friend's family or I made Thanksgiving dinner at home and we invited friends. The tradition continues to this day.

Now that I'm in South Georgia, my mom and my step-dad make a special trip down from Illinois for Thanksgiving. They usually celebrate an early Thanksgiving with my brothers and their families in Illinois and then drive down for the holiday. This year was no different.

While many people don't like the hassle of preparing the turkey and all the fixings and desserts necessary for a proper Thanksgiving feast, that is as much a part of the tradition of the day for me as having the football games on TV. The parade . . . eh . . . I can take or leave that. So this year, my mother and I buzzed in and out of the kitchen between tasks and watching the Lions and Packers on the gridiron. My son and his grandfather kept themselves busy while we prepped dishes and cooked. It was a happy house and I was mentally counting my blessings because I know there were others who could not be with their families and many who are much less fortunate than I am.

Finally, the table was set, the candles were lit, the turkey was carved and we sat down to enjoy the meal . . .

It was at this moment that my son decided to loose any and all frustration that he had been storing up unbeknownst to we innocent bystanders. A meltdown like we haven't witnessed in years took place over the selection of deviled eggs. Or perhaps it was the sight of stuffing ("That looks GROSS!") on his plate that set him off. Whatever the cause, he refused to talk to anyone and stared at the flames of the candle.

My mother, frustrated and tired of watching this ridiculous tantrum, promptly blew out the candles . . . only exacerbating the problem. Tears ensued. My mother announced that she had reached the end of her patience and that she didn't feel a need to sit at the table while Declan showed that behavior. She took her plate and went upstairs to finish her meal. Of course, that only made Declan cry more. He stomped upstairs to his own room, sobbing uncontrollably. My stepfather and I sat across from each other at the table and shared a look of pure disbelief, then finished a very quiet meal. Happy Thanksgiving.

My mother came down after she finished her dinner. Declan eventually made amends as well, slipping my mother, step-father and I handmade cards saying, "I'm so sorry, Love Declan  P.S. for t[h]rowing a fit." Plenty of hugs were exchanged over pumpkin pie and whipped cream and all was once again right with the world.

This is what happens when a real family gets together. And stories like these are the ones that make up holiday memories. It might be more like "Funny Farm" than Norman Rockwell perfection, but the good, the bad, the ugly . . . THIS is what family is all about, and it is something for which I am so very thankful.

The Return of the Prodigal Blogger

It has been many moons since my last blog post and I am long overdue. As I sit here gazing at the bright half-moon through the trees in the backyard, I realized that now is as good a time as any to free-flow some thoughts to the page. Please forgive any errors and rambling...I'm out of practice.

The image I offer below is a testament to the fact that although I have not been writing I have definitely been smiling...every day. For a multitude of reasons. Instead of listing those reasons or recapping the past few months, I will merely say that summer seemed to pass in the blink of an eye and those days were anything but lazy. We enjoyed much love and laughter with family and friends and the passing of another birthday was painless. 

Music still shapes my days and is my muse in many ways. My soul is still soothed by the sound of the waves, and I can find my balance when then my toes are in the sand. The rhythm and pulse of the island are my rhythm and my pulse. With each breath of salt air I am renewed.
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Yet now, with the change of the seasons and the cooling of the air, I feel a new kind of energy and thrum of excitement. I feel vibrant and alive. I'm ready to see where my path leads and to take on any obstacles that I may find upon it. So...maybe if I stay on top of this blog, you can follow me on the journey! I guarantee that no matter where it leads there will be plenty of smiles along the way.

Far From Perfect

My morning status post on Facebook today read as follows: "Big cup of hazelnut coffee in hand & smell of cinnamon rolls wafting out of the oven. Good . . . no . . . GREAT morning, everyone!" A friend from high school commented that she enjoys waking up to my happy posts. Since I am often accused by others of being perpetually happy, I thought that what I told my old friend is something I should share here.

My happy posts--and this blog about finding your smile every day--is my way of counting my blessings. My life is far from perfect, but I know I am fortunate to have all that I do have. I will not take the things that make me smile each day for granted; I celebrate them.

I don't need a perfect life, I just want one filled with happiness. Where moments of joy outweigh moments of sadness, frustration and anger. Striving for perfection is an exhausting and impossible task. Life is messy and imperfect and people are flawed, so why do we expect that we can attain perfection? I choose instead to embrace each day as it comes and do my best to find or create every moment of joy that I can.

So that's the secret to my sunny disposition. Try it, it might work for you too!

Power to the Positive!

I turned to Declan yesterday morning and said, "You know what? Today is going to be a good day. No, it's going to be a great day!" He looked at me dubiously, "Mom, you don't know. It could be a really bad day. It might not be a good day at all." I sighed. That's the problem with the world today: not enough positive thinking, no contagious enthusiasm, a stubborn need to focus on the cloud and discount its silver lining.

Now I understand that there is some comfort in having low (or no) expectations because then the good things that happen are always a bonus, but this seems more like daily expectations that something will go wrong or bad things will happen. I just can't face my day that way!

So I explained to Declan that the attitude you have when you approach the day is just as important as what actually happens that day. If you go in thinking that it's going to be bad, you won't see the good. If you greet someone with a frown, you'll probably get a frown in return; but if you smile, chances are that you'll get a smile back and everyone will be happier.

It worked. Yesterday we both had great days. So today as we walked out the door to head to school, I turned to Declan with a smile and said, "You know what? Today is going to be a great day -- even better than yesterday! Whatcha think, Declan?" He grinned back at me, "Right, Mom. I think it's going to be a really good day."

And you know what? It was! To quote my wise friend Bill, "Power to the positive!" Keep smilin', people!

Justice Will Be Done

On September 11, 2001, I was pulling into the parking lot at my office when I heard the report on the radio that a plane had flown into the World Trade Center in New York. I remember shaking my head and wondering what kind of idiot pilot could fly a little plane into the side of a building, and what in the world they were doing flying that low in the city at all. When I came upstairs to my office, a few of us were discussing that strange report when someone came in to tell us that another plane had just hit the building. For the rest of the day we, just like the rest of the nation, were glued to radios and televisions for minute by minute news relating to what we quickly became aware was a terrorist attack on the United States.

It was an awful, awful day that I will never forget. I remember lighting luminaries in the driveway with my friend, Lisa, and wondering when the horror would end. So many innocent lives lost. Stories of terror and fear tempered only by amazing acts of heroism and an outpouring of true humanity.

On May 1, 2011, President Obama announced that the mastermind behind the terrible attacks on 9-11, Osama bin Laden, was killed by U.S. forces in a firefight in Pakistan. Former President George W. Bush, who was in office on 9-11 perhaps sums it up best: "This momentous achievement marks a victory for America, for people who seek peace around the world, and for all who lost loved ones on September 11, 2001. The fight against terror goes on, but tonight America has sent an unmistakable message: No matter how long it takes, justice will be done."

Thank you to the men and women who provide me with the blanket of freedom under which I sleep. Your vigilance and dedication are greatly appreciated. Job well done...now on to the next one. God bless you and keep you safe.