A Real Family Thanksgiving

Thanksgiving has always been a traditional holiday in my house. From the time I was little, it was the day when the family gathered around the table. When I grew up and got married, I still tried to make it back home for this special day with my family. If I wasn't able to, we often spent the day with a friend's family or I made Thanksgiving dinner at home and we invited friends. The tradition continues to this day.

Now that I'm in South Georgia, my mom and my step-dad make a special trip down from Illinois for Thanksgiving. They usually celebrate an early Thanksgiving with my brothers and their families in Illinois and then drive down for the holiday. This year was no different.

While many people don't like the hassle of preparing the turkey and all the fixings and desserts necessary for a proper Thanksgiving feast, that is as much a part of the tradition of the day for me as having the football games on TV. The parade . . . eh . . . I can take or leave that. So this year, my mother and I buzzed in and out of the kitchen between tasks and watching the Lions and Packers on the gridiron. My son and his grandfather kept themselves busy while we prepped dishes and cooked. It was a happy house and I was mentally counting my blessings because I know there were others who could not be with their families and many who are much less fortunate than I am.

Finally, the table was set, the candles were lit, the turkey was carved and we sat down to enjoy the meal . . .

It was at this moment that my son decided to loose any and all frustration that he had been storing up unbeknownst to we innocent bystanders. A meltdown like we haven't witnessed in years took place over the selection of deviled eggs. Or perhaps it was the sight of stuffing ("That looks GROSS!") on his plate that set him off. Whatever the cause, he refused to talk to anyone and stared at the flames of the candle.

My mother, frustrated and tired of watching this ridiculous tantrum, promptly blew out the candles . . . only exacerbating the problem. Tears ensued. My mother announced that she had reached the end of her patience and that she didn't feel a need to sit at the table while Declan showed that behavior. She took her plate and went upstairs to finish her meal. Of course, that only made Declan cry more. He stomped upstairs to his own room, sobbing uncontrollably. My stepfather and I sat across from each other at the table and shared a look of pure disbelief, then finished a very quiet meal. Happy Thanksgiving.

My mother came down after she finished her dinner. Declan eventually made amends as well, slipping my mother, step-father and I handmade cards saying, "I'm so sorry, Love Declan  P.S. for t[h]rowing a fit." Plenty of hugs were exchanged over pumpkin pie and whipped cream and all was once again right with the world.

This is what happens when a real family gets together. And stories like these are the ones that make up holiday memories. It might be more like "Funny Farm" than Norman Rockwell perfection, but the good, the bad, the ugly . . . THIS is what family is all about, and it is something for which I am so very thankful.

The Return of the Prodigal Blogger

It has been many moons since my last blog post and I am long overdue. As I sit here gazing at the bright half-moon through the trees in the backyard, I realized that now is as good a time as any to free-flow some thoughts to the page. Please forgive any errors and rambling...I'm out of practice.

The image I offer below is a testament to the fact that although I have not been writing I have definitely been smiling...every day. For a multitude of reasons. Instead of listing those reasons or recapping the past few months, I will merely say that summer seemed to pass in the blink of an eye and those days were anything but lazy. We enjoyed much love and laughter with family and friends and the passing of another birthday was painless. 

Music still shapes my days and is my muse in many ways. My soul is still soothed by the sound of the waves, and I can find my balance when then my toes are in the sand. The rhythm and pulse of the island are my rhythm and my pulse. With each breath of salt air I am renewed.
,
Yet now, with the change of the seasons and the cooling of the air, I feel a new kind of energy and thrum of excitement. I feel vibrant and alive. I'm ready to see where my path leads and to take on any obstacles that I may find upon it. So...maybe if I stay on top of this blog, you can follow me on the journey! I guarantee that no matter where it leads there will be plenty of smiles along the way.

Far From Perfect

My morning status post on Facebook today read as follows: "Big cup of hazelnut coffee in hand & smell of cinnamon rolls wafting out of the oven. Good . . . no . . . GREAT morning, everyone!" A friend from high school commented that she enjoys waking up to my happy posts. Since I am often accused by others of being perpetually happy, I thought that what I told my old friend is something I should share here.

My happy posts--and this blog about finding your smile every day--is my way of counting my blessings. My life is far from perfect, but I know I am fortunate to have all that I do have. I will not take the things that make me smile each day for granted; I celebrate them.

I don't need a perfect life, I just want one filled with happiness. Where moments of joy outweigh moments of sadness, frustration and anger. Striving for perfection is an exhausting and impossible task. Life is messy and imperfect and people are flawed, so why do we expect that we can attain perfection? I choose instead to embrace each day as it comes and do my best to find or create every moment of joy that I can.

So that's the secret to my sunny disposition. Try it, it might work for you too!

Power to the Positive!

I turned to Declan yesterday morning and said, "You know what? Today is going to be a good day. No, it's going to be a great day!" He looked at me dubiously, "Mom, you don't know. It could be a really bad day. It might not be a good day at all." I sighed. That's the problem with the world today: not enough positive thinking, no contagious enthusiasm, a stubborn need to focus on the cloud and discount its silver lining.

Now I understand that there is some comfort in having low (or no) expectations because then the good things that happen are always a bonus, but this seems more like daily expectations that something will go wrong or bad things will happen. I just can't face my day that way!

So I explained to Declan that the attitude you have when you approach the day is just as important as what actually happens that day. If you go in thinking that it's going to be bad, you won't see the good. If you greet someone with a frown, you'll probably get a frown in return; but if you smile, chances are that you'll get a smile back and everyone will be happier.

It worked. Yesterday we both had great days. So today as we walked out the door to head to school, I turned to Declan with a smile and said, "You know what? Today is going to be a great day -- even better than yesterday! Whatcha think, Declan?" He grinned back at me, "Right, Mom. I think it's going to be a really good day."

And you know what? It was! To quote my wise friend Bill, "Power to the positive!" Keep smilin', people!

Justice Will Be Done

On September 11, 2001, I was pulling into the parking lot at my office when I heard the report on the radio that a plane had flown into the World Trade Center in New York. I remember shaking my head and wondering what kind of idiot pilot could fly a little plane into the side of a building, and what in the world they were doing flying that low in the city at all. When I came upstairs to my office, a few of us were discussing that strange report when someone came in to tell us that another plane had just hit the building. For the rest of the day we, just like the rest of the nation, were glued to radios and televisions for minute by minute news relating to what we quickly became aware was a terrorist attack on the United States.

It was an awful, awful day that I will never forget. I remember lighting luminaries in the driveway with my friend, Lisa, and wondering when the horror would end. So many innocent lives lost. Stories of terror and fear tempered only by amazing acts of heroism and an outpouring of true humanity.

On May 1, 2011, President Obama announced that the mastermind behind the terrible attacks on 9-11, Osama bin Laden, was killed by U.S. forces in a firefight in Pakistan. Former President George W. Bush, who was in office on 9-11 perhaps sums it up best: "This momentous achievement marks a victory for America, for people who seek peace around the world, and for all who lost loved ones on September 11, 2001. The fight against terror goes on, but tonight America has sent an unmistakable message: No matter how long it takes, justice will be done."

Thank you to the men and women who provide me with the blanket of freedom under which I sleep. Your vigilance and dedication are greatly appreciated. Job well done...now on to the next one. God bless you and keep you safe.

Stormy Weather & Winds of Change

Over the past few days, the South has experienced devastating tornadoes that resulted in hundreds of casualties, more than a thousand injuries, and untold property damage. I think the vast majority of the storm damage was in Alabama, but some of the catastrophe was felt in the north part of Georgia. Here on the island, we had some weather that looked very ugly, but blew through quickly, and really had more bark than bite. Declan and I were talking about the tornadoes on the way to school one morning, and he said he wished we would have one. I was horrified, "Why would you want us to have a tornado here," I asked. "Don't you remember all of that damage from the one that happened on Mother's Day? That would be terrible." He told me that he just thought it would be really cool to see a tornado.

That got me to thinking about how people choose to chase tornadoes or take cover and stay safe. And the more I thought about that, I started seeing a tornado as an analogy for those unforeseen events or forces that sometimes blow into your life, turning everything upside down and wreaking havoc. The energy of the storm is exciting and invigorating. The waves churn and the tide crashes against the rocks. When it passes, the calm can be unnerving. An absence of that surging power. Even if you've been spared from major damage, you may still feel like a sailboat adrift--perhaps blown off course and now lacking the wind to fill your sails. Winds of change can be good, but too much and we risk the damage of a storm. I guess all we can really hope is that we have a solid foundation and sturdy enough construction to embrace the tempest, enjoy the excitement of the ride through it, and come through unscathed.

God, how I love a good storm!

Smiling When No One Else Is Around

If you smile when no one else is around, you really mean it.  ~Andy Rooney

I'm still on that crazy, twisty, up and down rollercoaster ride of life, going at breakneck speed, but want to assure you followers that while I may not have been able to take the time to blog every day (or even every week, sadly), I am definitely still taking the time to smile! Or, actually, smiling during the moments of these busy days. And, yes, I'm often smiling when no one else is around.

Some of the things that have made me happy since my last post: the smell of confederate jasmine, the blooming of the azaleas, and the pure, unadulterated beauty of spring. The feel of my toes in the sand. The breathtaking view of the full moon shining brightly in a clear night sky. The love of a community that rallys around one of its own. The joy of answered prayers. The ability of an impromptu dinner picnic at the beach to calm the turbulence in my mind. Nutella cake pops . . . and red velvet ones too (and I'm not talking about the ones at Starbucks either)! The pride I have in my son when I see how happy he is to read a book of his own choosing from start to finish without help. The daily discovery of more new music to suit . . . or alter . . . my mood. Unexpected compliments and compliments from unexpected sources. New and delicious flavors of Moo Cow Ice Cream. The strength of old friendships and the pleasure of building new ones. The ability and opportunity to laugh out loud every single day. The fact that there are more tears of laughter in my life than tears of sadness or pain.


Over the past few weeks a dear friend of mine, a vivacious woman who is a loving wife and mother of two young boys, has been enduring a struggle with a very serious medical condition. She discovered that she would require a type of brain surgery that many surgeons consider too risky to perform. Despite her fear, she faced this obstacle with determination and grace, and came through the procedure with near miraculous results. Her post-surgery progress has been nothing short of amazing. That is what a positive attitude, strong will, and abundant faith and love can do. It is truly a sight to behold. 

It also reminds me to greet each day with a smile because every day is a gift. Whatever the day might bring, I am determined to embrace the joy and challenge it brings and continue to smile . . . even when no one else is looking.