Mr. Carlin Had It Right

Once again I'm sharing words that are not mine because, frankly, I can't say it better than George Carlin did. When I read this yesterday it spoke to my heart and has stuck with me. I think it's something everyone should read and give some thought. While best known for his gritty humor, Carlin was a very smart man. There is such truth here. He says to share the precious thoughts in your mind, I'm so glad he shared his and now I share them again through mine.

SOMETHING TO PONDER

The paradox of our time in history is that we have taller buildings but shorter tempers, wider freeways, but narrower viewpoints. We spend more, but have less, we buy more, but enjoy less. We have bigger houses and smaller families, more conveniences, but less time. We have more degrees but less sense, more knowledge, but less judgment, more experts, yet more problems, more medicine, but less wellness. 

We drink too much, smoke too much, spend too recklessly, laugh too little, drive too fast, get too angry, stay up too late, get up too tired, read too little, watch TV too much, and pray too seldom. 

We have multiplied our possessions, but reduced our values. We talk too much, love too seldom, and hate too often.

We've learned how to make a living, but not a life. We've added years to life not life to years. We've been all the way to the moon and back, but have trouble crossing the street to meet a new neighbor. We conquered outer space but not inner space. We've done larger things, but not better things. 

We've cleaned up the air, but polluted the soul. We've conquered the atom, but not our prejudice. We write more, but learn less. We plan more, but accomplish less. We've learned to rush, but not to wait. We build more computers to hold more information, to produce more copies than ever, but we communicate less and less. 

These are the times of fast foods and slow digestion, big men and small character, steep profits and shallow relationships. These are the days of two incomes but more divorce, fancier houses, but broken homes. These are days of quick trips, disposable diapers, throwaway morality, one night stands, overweight bodies, and pills that do everything from cheer, to quiet, to kill. It is a time when there is much in the showroom window and nothing in the stockroom. A time when technology can bring this letter to you, and a time when you can choose either to share this insight, or to just hit delete. 

Remember to spend some time with your loved ones, because they are not going to be around forever.

Remember, say a kind word to someone who looks up to you in awe, because that little person soon will grow up and leave your side. 

Remember, to give a warm hug to the one next to you, because that is the only treasure you can give with your heart and it doesn't cost a cent.

Remember, to say, 'I love you' to your partner and your loved ones, but most of all mean it. A kiss and an embrace will mend hurt when it comes from deep inside of you. 

Remember to hold hands and cherish the moment for someday that person will not be there again.

Give time to love, give time to speak! And give time to share the precious thoughts in your mind.

And always remember, life is not measured by the number of breaths we take, but by those moments that take our breath away.

-George Carlin 

Thank you, Mr. Carlin. Maybe if more of us act in just such a way we can make the world a better place -- a place with less hate, jealousy, maliciousness, greed, and discontent. That is my hope. I wish you, my precious friends and readers, lives filled with hands to hold, moments of breathlessness, acts of kindness, and love that is shared. Peace.

My Favorite Doctor

This weekend marks the birthday of Theodor Geisel, a poet philosopher better known to the world as Dr. Seuss. His books are delightful to me: rhyming verse, sharp wit and humor, colorful and fantastical worlds, and characters like The Cat in the Hat and The Grinch. And thought the stories appeal to the youngest of children, many carry deep underlying messages and wisdom that resonates with us even as adults. Since I began reading at a very young age, this man from Springfield, MA (only a couple towns away from where I grew up in Southampton) influenced my own relationship with words from the start. 

From "there's a wocket in my pocket" to the song sung by the Whos on Christmas Day, I have always been entralled with Geisel's use of words, both those found in the dictionary and those he created. Those silly words that just feel right to say and how their use sparks such vivid imagery in your brain. The way he could turn a phrase and make it all come together in rhyme. His style and creativity inspire me and his quotes about life and love are some of my favorites. 

So, in honor of Dr. Seuss on his birthday, it seemed only appropriate that I sit down a pen a quick verse:

Words

Words are my favorite toys with to play.

I juggle them around in my head night and day.

I use them to paint. I use them to build.

Oh, the blank pages that my words have filled.

Jargon or slang, nonsensical or real, 

They describe what we see, think, and feel.

They all must come out. I can't keep them in.

Not to release them just seems a sin.

They are meant to be shared and meant to be read.

And most important of all, they are meant to be said.

Thank you for always inspiring me, Theodor Geisel. I will forever be in your debt for your part in awaking my love of language and showing me that even fun words can have meaning too. Happy Birthday.  

 

Unexpected Poetry

Yes, I'm a writer. Generally words flow from my pen or fingertips with ease whether directed to a topic or in response to communication. Sometimes, however I need inspiration to find the right words. But every now and again, something amazing happens: I will put my fingers on the keyboard or pen on the paper and the words just come without guidance or thought. It's as if they were there waiting like kids in line for recess, all in perfect order, for me to just open the door and let them out.

That happened today. And whether it sprang from thoughts that lingered in my mind since I heard about a possible suicide last night, or just arose from an unconscious need to address my own quietly nagging self- doubt, an unexpected bit of poetry emerged on this rainy day. Yesterday I remarked that I love the feel on pen on paper...today it was absolute magic. This is what magic looks like:

With only minimal polish added since it touched the notebook page, here it is:

Words for a Rainy Day

On days when happiness eludes your grasp
And the skies are dark with clouds,
Remember that you have an inner shimmer
And a light that can't be doused.
Don't let your head fill with doubt
Or your heart find trouble where there's none.
Wrap yourself in words and song
And know that you are loved.
All you have and all you are
Will always be enough.

Love and Romance

I was recently asked if I consider myself a romantic. Hrmmm. A romantic? What does that mean, really? Some flighty, emotional girl who's looking for a Prince Charming to come sweep her off her feet with grand gestures and a showering of flowers and gifts? Some romance novel reading middle-aged woman pining for her Noah as she presses PLAY to view "The Notebook" for the 152nd time? Um...no.

So to go beyond the preconceived stereotype, I turned to my friend, Merriam-Webster, to see how the adjective "romantic" is defined:

1: consisting of or resembling a romance
2: having no basis in fact : imaginary
3: impractical in conception or plan : visionary
4a : marked by the imaginative or emotional appeal of what is heroic, adventurous, remote, mysterious, or idealized
b often capitalized : of, relating to, or having the characteristics of romanticism
c : of or relating to music of the 19th century characterized by an emphasis on subjective emotional qualities and freedom of form; also : of or relating to a composer of this music
5a : having an inclination for romance : responsive to the appeal of what is idealized, heroic, or adventurous
b : marked by expressions of love or affection
c : conducive to or suitable for lovemaking
6: of, relating to, or constituting the part of the hero, especially in a light comedy

Well, yikes! That didn't make it any easier. Alright, now let's take a deeper look...

Most of the definitions in here just don't apply at all (although whether or not I am imaginary has actually been a topic of debate). Do I have an "inclination toward romance?" Or is my life "marked by expressions of love or affection?" This requires some thought.

An inclination toward romance? What IS romance? Candlelight and flowers? Sweet words? While a grand gesture may impress me, it's the small gestures and the little day to day things that win my heart. And sweet words are nice, but more important is the sincerity behind them and the feeling that they are meant for you and you alone. Everybody wants to feel like they are special to someone. Of course I'm the same.

What makes me feel special? When you actively listen to me. When you get to know ME. When I'm not treated as "an interchangeable blonde"--that pretty girl who fits a certain description and guys figure one is just as good as another. When you're interested in what I have to say and you offer your own thoughts and opinions. When you support me, inspire me, encourage me--those things are priceless. I don't need you to agree with me, but I do need you to not be offended, angry, or hurt when I don't agree with you. Someone once said, "There's nothing more erotic than good conversation." There's definitely some truth to that.

"Marked by expressions of love or affection?" If you know me, you know that I'm generally a pretty affectionate person. I think human contact is a wonderful thing. I've written here about the power of a simple hug. It's awesome. Now love . . .

Simply put, I believe in love. That all-encompassing, with your whole heart kind of love. That desire to actively share in the joys and trials of someone else's life. And I want that love to prevail over adversity. I want good to triumph over evil. I root for the underdog to get the win. I believe that miracles do happen in real life. I am also well aware that sometimes bad things happen to good people. And quite often, people don't get what they deserve. As for marriage and "happily ever after," I find that "'til death us do part" is rarely "'til death."

So, I guess it's fair to say that my romanticism is tempered by a healthy dose of realism. However, what I do have that might just tip the scales is an undying spark of hope and a steadfast faith that happiness is not only attainable, but a necessary condition. Yes, I possess unflagging optimism. I know it can be horribly annoying, but I will always be that glass half-full kind of girl.

But when I look at it all and mull through my thoughts on love and romance, it really just comes down to this: every now and then, there will be a song with lyrics like Zac Brown Band' s "Whatever It Is" that turn me into pure girl mush, and I think, "THAT. That is how I want someone to think about me."

Yeah . . . I'm a romantic.

Wearing My Heart on My Sleeve

Today is another anniversary of sorts in my life. The Sunday that we turn the clock back to end Daylight Savings Time marks the day that my now ex-husband stood me up for our first date. I remember it because when I got tired of waiting for him, my roommate and I decided to leave the house to go get donuts to eat while we sat and watched football on a sunny afternoon in Michigan. When we turned on the radio to tune in the football game on the way home and discovered that it wasn't playing, we realized that we had completely forgotten about the time change and hadn't set the clocks back. If he HAD come to the house, I wouldn't have been there. Oops! As it turns out, he had been called out of town on a job and sent a friend of his into the bar where I worked with his apologies later that week. Needless to say, we DID still manage to go out on a first date at some point thereafter and ended up married for 17 years. Despite the fact that the marriage ended some time ago, it remains a day that I always remember for that "botched" first date.

So, this morning in remembering the events of this day many, many years ago I decided my daily "November gratitude" status update on Facebook would be a reflection on that relationship. In my post I remarked that the 17-year marriage wasn't a bad run and we ended up with a pretty awesome kid out of it. I noted my gratitude that I still have an amicable relationship with my ex-husband and we can work together for our son's best interest. I know so many people who are not that fortunate, so this is something for which I am very thankful. Expressing those thoughts today seemed appropriate. This post was a departure for me, however, as I generally choose not to discuss my personal relationships in any kind of detail on Facebook. I also never post anything about my ex-husband.

When I decided to share this more personal than usual status update, doubt niggled in the back of my brain. Recently I received a message from a Facebook friend who doesn't know me very well suggesting that I "shouldn't wear my heart on my sleeve on Facebook." I was amused at the time, because while I am quite free with sharing my thoughts and emotions, it's generally done in a vague matter and I don't really post any sort of details about personal relationships in my life, other than the one I have with my son. But I am a writer. I enjoy expressing myself and I record my reflections and feelings, whether I have an audience or not. I am open about my emotions, no doubt, and always willing to express my opinions, for better or worse.You can learn much about my views on life, relationships, and parenting, among other things, but the only details you'll get are those which I share to choose. Nonetheless that advice not to "wear my heart on my sleeve" stuck with me and I wondered today if perhaps I was going too far, sharing too much.

I have received my answer. More than 60 people "liked" or commented on my post and others sent me private messages praising me for sharing my story this morning or saying that my words inspired them. They have shared their own stories with me in turn and tell me that they have gained something from my perspective. People tell me that they feel like they "know me" when I allow them these glimpses into my world . . . into my brain. They feel "connected." I welcome that.

I truly like my friends, however I come by them. If you interact with me virtually, I enjoy meeting you in real life to continue the conversation and develop that relationship. We live in a world where technology allows us to communicate with each other instantly. Phone calls, texting and social media keep us connected even when face-to-face interaction isn't possible. With all of these options available, a free flow of honest communication shouldn't be hard to come by, but it seems rare enough that people are surprised by my candid nature. That saddens me. We should be using this media to strengthen our relationships or to connect with a wider range of people, not to replace "real" communication with superficial and meaningless noise.

If posts that delve into my emotions, openly express my thoughts, or offer a little insight into my life are considered "wearing my heart on my sleeve," then sew mine on tight because that's where I plan to keep it. I encourage others to do the same. It's amazing what wonderful relationships can develop when you aren't afraid to let people see who you really are.

A Day to Celebrate Mothers

Happy Mother's Day. No Eggs Benedict in bed or fresh flowers on the table here this morning because right now my son is with his father celebrating another mother in his life. My turn comes later today. And this, I've decided is okay.

Instead I enjoy a quiet morning of reflection on the nature of motherhood and all the amazing mothers and women that I know. Not only am I blessed to have my own mother still providing her steadfast love and support, there are some strong, smart, sassy women here who are like mothers to me and have let Declan and I enjoy being members of their extended family. I treasure them dearly for being here for me when my mother is so many miles away.

When I look around, I find myself surrounded by friends who are wonderful mothers, from those whose children have been Declan's friends for years to those whose experience I treasure because their children are now adults. I see former childhood friends and classmates who are now mothers sharing their children's accomplishments and celebrating those bonds. It's a joy. And my friends have some pretty incredible mothers too. I am constantly impressed by the women who have shaped these amazing people that I know.

Today is our day. We who have learned to put the happiness of others before our own, who kiss the boo-boos and want to right the wrongs, who love through the good and the bad, the terrific and the terrible. We who endure the tantrums and words that cut to the quick because we know they are the same children who can melt our hearts when their hand creeps unexpectedly into ours or they surprise us with a quick kiss for no reason at all. Nothing will ever be too much for us to take. There will never be too great a burden for us to shoulder for them. We love them unconditionally, every single moment of every single day. They are our world and we are happy to be their sun.

My life changed profoundly when I became a mother. I discovered my true purpose. I had no idea. It still amazes me that I have been given such a valuable gift with such an awesome responsibility. I spend every day trying to get it right and hoping that I'm not too far off the mark.

So, this afternoon I am going to hug my son tight and tell him how happy I am that I am his mom. We're going to go listen to some bands play at the park with friends that include some of those terrific mamas that I know. I'm going to surround him with love, music, laughter, and friends...because that, I think, is how to teach him what is truly important.

The best quote I've seen today: "There is no way to be a perfect mother, just a million ways to be a good one."

Now, my fellow mothers, go celebrate you!

At a Loss for Words

Today a friend of mine stated her intention of keeping a "gratitude" journal in which she mines the diamonds from each day. This made me smile, knowing that very same notion was the origin of this blog. Admittedly I have been abysmal at keeping up with my entries, though I can honestly say I have found something to make me smile each and every day, no matter how bad that day has been. (And, there have been some pretty rough days in the past few months.)

I have also been doing more writing lately, but there's been nothing that I think merits publishing to an audience. So, today, with a primed pen and my friend's new-found inspiration as further impetus for me to once again catalog my thoughts here, I fully intended to post an entry that captured a bit of joy that I found in what was otherwise a pretty miserable Christmas.

However, tonight, now that I have the time to sit and write, I am at a loss for words. Someone I care about is hurting and I feel helpless. My heart aches such that I do not trust my fingers on the keyboard. And so I am glad that I found my smile earlier today in the words of a friend. Since I cannot rely on my own words tonight, I will pass on words written by another that I find beautiful and inspiring, and perhaps someone else can find their smile here:

This is your LIFE. Do what you love, and do it often.

 If you don’t like something, change it.

 If you don’t like your job, quit.

 If you don’t have enough time, stop watching TV. 

If you are looking for the love of your life, stop; they will be waiting for you when you start doing things you love. 

Stop over analyzing, LIFE IS SIMPLE. All emotions are beautiful. 

When you eat, appreciate every last bite. 

Open your mind, arms, and heart to new things and people; we are united in our differences. 

Ask the next person you see what their passion is, and share your inspiring dream with them. 

Travel often; getting lost will help you find yourself. 

Some opportunities only come once, seize them. 

Life is about the people you meet, and the things you create with them so go out and start creating.
LIFE IS SHORT. Live your dream and wear your passion. 

A Real Family Thanksgiving

Thanksgiving has always been a traditional holiday in my house. From the time I was little, it was the day when the family gathered around the table. When I grew up and got married, I still tried to make it back home for this special day with my family. If I wasn't able to, we often spent the day with a friend's family or I made Thanksgiving dinner at home and we invited friends. The tradition continues to this day.

Now that I'm in South Georgia, my mom and my step-dad make a special trip down from Illinois for Thanksgiving. They usually celebrate an early Thanksgiving with my brothers and their families in Illinois and then drive down for the holiday. This year was no different.

While many people don't like the hassle of preparing the turkey and all the fixings and desserts necessary for a proper Thanksgiving feast, that is as much a part of the tradition of the day for me as having the football games on TV. The parade . . . eh . . . I can take or leave that. So this year, my mother and I buzzed in and out of the kitchen between tasks and watching the Lions and Packers on the gridiron. My son and his grandfather kept themselves busy while we prepped dishes and cooked. It was a happy house and I was mentally counting my blessings because I know there were others who could not be with their families and many who are much less fortunate than I am.

Finally, the table was set, the candles were lit, the turkey was carved and we sat down to enjoy the meal . . .

It was at this moment that my son decided to loose any and all frustration that he had been storing up unbeknownst to we innocent bystanders. A meltdown like we haven't witnessed in years took place over the selection of deviled eggs. Or perhaps it was the sight of stuffing ("That looks GROSS!") on his plate that set him off. Whatever the cause, he refused to talk to anyone and stared at the flames of the candle.

My mother, frustrated and tired of watching this ridiculous tantrum, promptly blew out the candles . . . only exacerbating the problem. Tears ensued. My mother announced that she had reached the end of her patience and that she didn't feel a need to sit at the table while Declan showed that behavior. She took her plate and went upstairs to finish her meal. Of course, that only made Declan cry more. He stomped upstairs to his own room, sobbing uncontrollably. My stepfather and I sat across from each other at the table and shared a look of pure disbelief, then finished a very quiet meal. Happy Thanksgiving.

My mother came down after she finished her dinner. Declan eventually made amends as well, slipping my mother, step-father and I handmade cards saying, "I'm so sorry, Love Declan  P.S. for t[h]rowing a fit." Plenty of hugs were exchanged over pumpkin pie and whipped cream and all was once again right with the world.

This is what happens when a real family gets together. And stories like these are the ones that make up holiday memories. It might be more like "Funny Farm" than Norman Rockwell perfection, but the good, the bad, the ugly . . . THIS is what family is all about, and it is something for which I am so very thankful.

The Return of the Prodigal Blogger

It has been many moons since my last blog post and I am long overdue. As I sit here gazing at the bright half-moon through the trees in the backyard, I realized that now is as good a time as any to free-flow some thoughts to the page. Please forgive any errors and rambling...I'm out of practice.

The image I offer below is a testament to the fact that although I have not been writing I have definitely been smiling...every day. For a multitude of reasons. Instead of listing those reasons or recapping the past few months, I will merely say that summer seemed to pass in the blink of an eye and those days were anything but lazy. We enjoyed much love and laughter with family and friends and the passing of another birthday was painless. 

Music still shapes my days and is my muse in many ways. My soul is still soothed by the sound of the waves, and I can find my balance when then my toes are in the sand. The rhythm and pulse of the island are my rhythm and my pulse. With each breath of salt air I am renewed.
,
Yet now, with the change of the seasons and the cooling of the air, I feel a new kind of energy and thrum of excitement. I feel vibrant and alive. I'm ready to see where my path leads and to take on any obstacles that I may find upon it. So...maybe if I stay on top of this blog, you can follow me on the journey! I guarantee that no matter where it leads there will be plenty of smiles along the way.

Far From Perfect

My morning status post on Facebook today read as follows: "Big cup of hazelnut coffee in hand & smell of cinnamon rolls wafting out of the oven. Good . . . no . . . GREAT morning, everyone!" A friend from high school commented that she enjoys waking up to my happy posts. Since I am often accused by others of being perpetually happy, I thought that what I told my old friend is something I should share here.

My happy posts--and this blog about finding your smile every day--is my way of counting my blessings. My life is far from perfect, but I know I am fortunate to have all that I do have. I will not take the things that make me smile each day for granted; I celebrate them.

I don't need a perfect life, I just want one filled with happiness. Where moments of joy outweigh moments of sadness, frustration and anger. Striving for perfection is an exhausting and impossible task. Life is messy and imperfect and people are flawed, so why do we expect that we can attain perfection? I choose instead to embrace each day as it comes and do my best to find or create every moment of joy that I can.

So that's the secret to my sunny disposition. Try it, it might work for you too!

Power to the Positive!

I turned to Declan yesterday morning and said, "You know what? Today is going to be a good day. No, it's going to be a great day!" He looked at me dubiously, "Mom, you don't know. It could be a really bad day. It might not be a good day at all." I sighed. That's the problem with the world today: not enough positive thinking, no contagious enthusiasm, a stubborn need to focus on the cloud and discount its silver lining.

Now I understand that there is some comfort in having low (or no) expectations because then the good things that happen are always a bonus, but this seems more like daily expectations that something will go wrong or bad things will happen. I just can't face my day that way!

So I explained to Declan that the attitude you have when you approach the day is just as important as what actually happens that day. If you go in thinking that it's going to be bad, you won't see the good. If you greet someone with a frown, you'll probably get a frown in return; but if you smile, chances are that you'll get a smile back and everyone will be happier.

It worked. Yesterday we both had great days. So today as we walked out the door to head to school, I turned to Declan with a smile and said, "You know what? Today is going to be a great day -- even better than yesterday! Whatcha think, Declan?" He grinned back at me, "Right, Mom. I think it's going to be a really good day."

And you know what? It was! To quote my wise friend Bill, "Power to the positive!" Keep smilin', people!

Justice Will Be Done

On September 11, 2001, I was pulling into the parking lot at my office when I heard the report on the radio that a plane had flown into the World Trade Center in New York. I remember shaking my head and wondering what kind of idiot pilot could fly a little plane into the side of a building, and what in the world they were doing flying that low in the city at all. When I came upstairs to my office, a few of us were discussing that strange report when someone came in to tell us that another plane had just hit the building. For the rest of the day we, just like the rest of the nation, were glued to radios and televisions for minute by minute news relating to what we quickly became aware was a terrorist attack on the United States.

It was an awful, awful day that I will never forget. I remember lighting luminaries in the driveway with my friend, Lisa, and wondering when the horror would end. So many innocent lives lost. Stories of terror and fear tempered only by amazing acts of heroism and an outpouring of true humanity.

On May 1, 2011, President Obama announced that the mastermind behind the terrible attacks on 9-11, Osama bin Laden, was killed by U.S. forces in a firefight in Pakistan. Former President George W. Bush, who was in office on 9-11 perhaps sums it up best: "This momentous achievement marks a victory for America, for people who seek peace around the world, and for all who lost loved ones on September 11, 2001. The fight against terror goes on, but tonight America has sent an unmistakable message: No matter how long it takes, justice will be done."

Thank you to the men and women who provide me with the blanket of freedom under which I sleep. Your vigilance and dedication are greatly appreciated. Job well done...now on to the next one. God bless you and keep you safe.

Stormy Weather & Winds of Change

Over the past few days, the South has experienced devastating tornadoes that resulted in hundreds of casualties, more than a thousand injuries, and untold property damage. I think the vast majority of the storm damage was in Alabama, but some of the catastrophe was felt in the north part of Georgia. Here on the island, we had some weather that looked very ugly, but blew through quickly, and really had more bark than bite. Declan and I were talking about the tornadoes on the way to school one morning, and he said he wished we would have one. I was horrified, "Why would you want us to have a tornado here," I asked. "Don't you remember all of that damage from the one that happened on Mother's Day? That would be terrible." He told me that he just thought it would be really cool to see a tornado.

That got me to thinking about how people choose to chase tornadoes or take cover and stay safe. And the more I thought about that, I started seeing a tornado as an analogy for those unforeseen events or forces that sometimes blow into your life, turning everything upside down and wreaking havoc. The energy of the storm is exciting and invigorating. The waves churn and the tide crashes against the rocks. When it passes, the calm can be unnerving. An absence of that surging power. Even if you've been spared from major damage, you may still feel like a sailboat adrift--perhaps blown off course and now lacking the wind to fill your sails. Winds of change can be good, but too much and we risk the damage of a storm. I guess all we can really hope is that we have a solid foundation and sturdy enough construction to embrace the tempest, enjoy the excitement of the ride through it, and come through unscathed.

God, how I love a good storm!

Smiling When No One Else Is Around

If you smile when no one else is around, you really mean it.  ~Andy Rooney

I'm still on that crazy, twisty, up and down rollercoaster ride of life, going at breakneck speed, but want to assure you followers that while I may not have been able to take the time to blog every day (or even every week, sadly), I am definitely still taking the time to smile! Or, actually, smiling during the moments of these busy days. And, yes, I'm often smiling when no one else is around.

Some of the things that have made me happy since my last post: the smell of confederate jasmine, the blooming of the azaleas, and the pure, unadulterated beauty of spring. The feel of my toes in the sand. The breathtaking view of the full moon shining brightly in a clear night sky. The love of a community that rallys around one of its own. The joy of answered prayers. The ability of an impromptu dinner picnic at the beach to calm the turbulence in my mind. Nutella cake pops . . . and red velvet ones too (and I'm not talking about the ones at Starbucks either)! The pride I have in my son when I see how happy he is to read a book of his own choosing from start to finish without help. The daily discovery of more new music to suit . . . or alter . . . my mood. Unexpected compliments and compliments from unexpected sources. New and delicious flavors of Moo Cow Ice Cream. The strength of old friendships and the pleasure of building new ones. The ability and opportunity to laugh out loud every single day. The fact that there are more tears of laughter in my life than tears of sadness or pain.


Over the past few weeks a dear friend of mine, a vivacious woman who is a loving wife and mother of two young boys, has been enduring a struggle with a very serious medical condition. She discovered that she would require a type of brain surgery that many surgeons consider too risky to perform. Despite her fear, she faced this obstacle with determination and grace, and came through the procedure with near miraculous results. Her post-surgery progress has been nothing short of amazing. That is what a positive attitude, strong will, and abundant faith and love can do. It is truly a sight to behold. 

It also reminds me to greet each day with a smile because every day is a gift. Whatever the day might bring, I am determined to embrace the joy and challenge it brings and continue to smile . . . even when no one else is looking. 

More of the Unexpected

It seems like I keep coming back to the same themes in this blog, but today was another one of those perfect island days that just makes me happy to be alive and well and living in this paradise I call home. I've had a wonderful weekend enjoying time with my son and my friends and made some of those amazing unexpected discoveries along the way.

Friday night, Declan and I joined some friends to see the movie "Hop" -- a family-friendly tale about the adventures of a deadbeat human and E.B., the reluctant son of the Easter Bunny. Though the trailers on TV looked pretty cute I wasn't expecting much after some of the recent kids movies we've seen in the theater. I was very pleasantly surprised! The movie was filled with great music, from the "I Want Candy" cover to "Every Rose Has Its Thorn," and I found myself hoping that there would be a soundtrack CD.

The best part of the movie for me did not come from the "main" characters thought, but from the voice talent of the incredibly funny Hank Azaria. He voiced two characters (Carlos and Phil) in the movie and had me laughing uncontrollably.

(One of my favorite recent family movies was "Night at the Museum: Battle of the Smithsonian" because Hank Azaria as Kahmunrah, the undead pharaoh with the speech impediment was hysterical.) I love when a movie surpasses my expectations and it was a nice night out with friends.

 On Saturday night, at the coaxing of my friend, Britt, an amazing dynamo of a woman who is an entrepreneur, marketing whiz and recent breast cancer (and divorce) survivor, I took Declan to the Relay for Life Kick Off Concert. Britt had organized the concert to benefit the American Cancer Society and had put a lot of effort into bringing in a country duo from Nashville called Bomshel. Though the event sounded great and I love supporting anything Britt does, I hadn't planned on attending because I had the boy and didn't think kids would be welcome at the concert. Britt allayed my fears and told me that I should definitely bring Declan, her own kids would be there, and there wouldn't be any problem. Another big draw was that a 12 year old girl named Sydney Rhame from Atlanta would be performing. I've heard of Sydney because she plays on the island every now and again and is friends with some of the local musicians I know, but I've never seen her sing. A totally unexpected perk of the night was that my friend, Joe, and his friend, Danielle, showed up for the concert because Danielle had won some tickets the night before. We got to hang out with them - such a pleasant surprise!

The Bomshel girls were beautiful and funny. They loved Declan's freckles and chatted with him at the Meet-and-Greet before the concert. When we asked for a photo with them, Kristy planted a big kiss on his cheek, leaving lipstick marks. He was embarrassed, thrilled and proud all at the same time. It was absolutely priceless! They were fantastic in concert too. They were funny and charismatic on stage and had beautiful voices. They are talented songwriters with a range that included "Fight Like a Girl" that touches so deeply it makes you cry and the cute and witty "Karma is a Female Dog." I'd see these girls again any day!

Sydney Rhame was an absolute revelation! This child was amazing! It is so hard to believe that someone so talented both musically and lyrically could be only 12 years old. She is so mature in her songwriting skills and so poised on stage that I'm sure she is going to have a bright future in music. I can't wait to see where her talent takes her and will be happy to say we were lucky enough to see her perform when she was just starting out!

Today was pure sunshine! It was day spent with friends in the Village, at the park, and down on the beach. A perfect day made even better by yet another unexpected treat courtesy of Chef Jayson Ridinger and Moo Cow Cream, the genius behind the avocado ice cream I mentioned in my last entry. We visited Moo Cow for the first time this afternoon and I tried new flavors. My choices: cinnamon buttermilk and chocolate pinot noir. Absolutely divine! Declan stuck with traditional flavors of Oreo and peppermint, but they were no less tasty! I'm already planning another visit to try green tea or lemongrass, or both, or maybe just to indulge in that wonderful avocado once again! Coming from a family of ice cream junkies, I will admit I am not one, but Moo Cow might change that! What was that I was saying about all the healthy fruits and veggies I just put in my fridge? Well, anyway . . . welcome to St. Simons Island, Moo Cow, thanks for bringing us a little bit of heaven -- one scoop at a time!

You Are What You Eat?

At the beginning of the year, one of my friends began a "Garden of Eden" type diet that allowed him only to eat food in its raw form -- nothing processed or artificial. He ate a vast assortment of fruits and vegetables and he described making smoothies, shakes, ice cream and all sorts of healthy concoctions from all natural ingredients. I envied his ability to make this commitment and stay dedicated. I know I wouldn't have been that strong -- especially post-holidays, during football (junk food) season, and with family in town. He enjoyed the diet and did very well sticking to it. I, on the other hand, ate and drank what I wanted.

Yesterday I went grocery shopping to fill a sadly neglected pantry and refrigerator. I've been wanting salad, carrots, avocados, fresh vegetables, apples, bananas and all sorts of other fruit and have found my refrigerator to be woefully lacking. So I went nuts in the produce department and came home and filled my crispers with everything ranging from green beans to purple plums. I thought about my friend and his healthy diet and was pleased that I too was making some better decisions with food choices.

Today, I got a message from my friend telling me that he went to a local sweet shop this afternoon. When I replied that going to get ice cream there sounded pretty good, he told me that it isn't the ice cream that he likes at the sweet shop. Instead, he listed chocolate dipped rice krispy treats, buckeyes, fudge, and brownies as been the main attractions. He said he likes to believe that they are all organic and made with all natural products...right!

I thought the fact that I was stocking my fridge with fresh fruits and veggies while my "healthy" friend just indulged himself at the local sweet shop was pretty funny. Just enough irony there to merit a blog, I figured.

I spent a few hours tonight indulging as well at A Taste of Glynn, a big restaurant showcase/cook-off with plentiful food of both the healthy and non-healthy varieties. Perhaps one of my favorite culinary creations of the evening was avocado ice cream. It might sound strange but it was wonderful! Only fitting considering that it combines both the healthy and the unhealthy to make something absolutely delicious.

A Birthday in a Bar

I realized last night when looking over the blog entries that were so few and far between this month that I failed to observe a very important occasion with an entry, and I feel horrible about that. So, despite the fact that this entry is more than 3 weeks late, it is no less important than it would have been on the date it should have been posted: March 3.

The number 333 is magical. Three-three-oh-three is the date my son came into this world. And on Thursday, March 3, we celebrated Declan's 8th birthday at Ziggy's. That's right...Ziggy's.

Those of you who live here know Ziggy's as a popular bar and night spot. It's where people go to drink and dance 'til the wee hours of the morning. It is also where my child requested that we hold his birthday party...again. A bar? For a child's birthday party? Being the super cool mom that I am, of course I agreed it would be perfect! It makes me think of that scene in "Sweet Home Alabama" where Reese Witherspoon says to her old friend from high school, "Look at you, you've got a baby...in  a bar!" But really, that's not exactly how it is here...I mean this is Georgia, not Alabama, after all!

Once a month, Ziggy's has a Family Fun Night between 5-7pm. During that time, the owner puts on kid-friendly dance music like Hannah Montana, Taylor Swift and the Jonas Brothers, turns on the disco ball, and lets the kids go wild. There's family-friendly food and the grown-ups can enjoy adult beverages while the kids dance and run around. It's a great idea.

Last year, when we went to Family Fun Night in February, they announced that the next one would be March 3. Declan was thrilled to know that it would be on his birthday and asked me if we could be there for it. I didn't have to think too hard about it -- it's a ready-made party. All I would have to do is bring a cake, some birthday decorations and balloons, and send out special invitations to Declan's friends to join us there. This was a no-brainer. I okayed the plan with the bar's owners and Declan got to party like a rock star on his birthday. It was terrific!

This year, Ziggy's changed the night of the Family Fun Night, and once again it fell right on March 3. Declan asked if we could return to Ziggy's once again for his birthday party. I was on board with that idea immediately! I ordered a big cake enough to feed anyone who might attend, a big bouquet of balloons to decorate the table, and sent out invitations by hand and by internet to our friends. We had a blast once again thanks to the great staff at Ziggy's and our friends that showed up to join the fun.

So, yes, my son turned 8 this month. I can't believe it. I remember that day in the hospital like it was yesterday, but it also seems like a lifetime ago. I thank God every day for the blessing of this child in my life. I can barely remember life without Declan in it. He is the world to me. Even though we have both good days and bad, Declan does make me smile every single day. And that is why I am happy to indulge him by celebrating his birthday the way he wants to celebrate it...in a bar.

Sisters and Bridesmaids

A couple years ago, at the request and urging of my friends Lynda Dalton Gallagher and Mary Miller, I stepped out of my comfort zone and onto a stage for the first time. Lynda is a very talented actor and director of local theater and Mary is a gifted playwright and author. Lynda asked me to play a part in an ensemble comedy that Mary had written and she would be staging around Christmas. I told them both that the only time I had ever been in a play was in grade school productions, but that I would be willing to give the role a shot if they really thought I'd be able to hold my own with the seasoned actors that had been cast.

And so I took the stage as one of three sisters in Mary's semi-autobiographic family comedy, "Unfinished Dreams." Leslie Jackson, a gifted Brunswick music teacher and veteran of Island Players musicals, played my pregnant sister, Elizabeth. Dawn Dyche, a talented singer with The Not Brothers and seasoned thespian, played my ditzy younger sister, Babs. Veteran actors Janet Sikes and Glenn Sellers rounded out the cast as our parents. While learning lines is difficult, I had help from my fellow cast members, my favorite "word Nazi" Clynne Morgan, and friends like C.A.P.E. Theater's Heather Schultz and Dawn's husband, Mike, another talented actor, director, and singer . . . and my darling son too, who listened to me say lines over and over in the car and never hesitated to tell me when I missed a word or messed up a line!

The play was well received by audiences and the experience of working with these incredibly talented people was something I will always cherish. They were helpful and generous and made me feel like a welcome part of the theater family. The cast itself also became like family. Somehow these "sisters" became my sisters. I don't think anyone was more excited than I was when my "pregnant sister" announced that she was really pregnant. When baby Jack was born to Leslie and her husband, Denny, it was like I was a proud aunt once again. I just met Jack in person for the first time a couple weeks ago and terrified the poor child with my squeals of excitement!

The "Unfinished Dreams" experience was so positive for me that I didn't pause for a minute when Lynda asked me to read the script for "Five Women Wearing the Same Dress" a few months later. Only a few pages into it I discovered that we were going to have a very different kind of production on our hands. This play was by American Beauty writer Alan Ball. It had sex, drugs and rock and roll. It was filled with foul language, raunchy discussions of sex, and themes of homosexuality and sexual abuse. Wow. How would the Sea Island crowd react to that? My character? A smart, clumsy, charm-school educated, wise-cracking, and always-eating lesbian named Mindy. And wait . . . we would all be wearing identical hideous sequined green bridesmaids dresses (which were really prom dresses.) I was so in!

My fellow bridesmaids were: Amy Lovin, a Brunswick High teacher who might possibly be the funniest person I know; Liz Gowen, another teacher and the sweet, beautiful wife of the man my son thinks is one of the coolest guys ever, Locos' owner, Zack Gowen; Krista Harris, the wonderful wild child with whom I used to work at The Brunswick News; and Susan Kohler, a dedicated stay-at-home mom and veteran of local stage productions. Amy and Liz were fresh off of the Island Players production of "Come Blow Your Horn" and their castmate Rob Clarkson had the role of our token cute male usher. We came out of the box swinging for the fences with a fantastic poster created by my friend, talented graphic designer, Stacey Nichols. Just that poster made people want to see the play! And then there was the buzz...

Once we finished the opening weekend, everyone was talking about the play. How "real" the dialogue and the characters were. Women loved it, they came back and brought their friends or their husbands. We sold out nightly. When the show ended its run, people were asking when we'd be doing it again. It was amazing! I even got the heady experience of receiving scene applause -- when an audience claps following an actor's delivery in the middle of a scene -- following a tongue-in-cheek beauty pageant contestant monologue that ends "And here's my tits, now my butt, and my tits again...." Making the audience laugh like that is positively electric and I had so much fun doing it!

As for the "Five Women" cast, we had a chemistry that resonated with the audience and we too became a big family. We all wish we could get together more often. Some of us see each other when our busy schedules permit, and we have a great time when we do get together. Amy, Liz, Krista and Susan may have been bridesmaids in the play but they have also become the sisters of my heart. For a girl whose real family includes only brothers, I love that God has found a way to provide me with some wonderful sisters. And I'd be willing to add Rob as another younger brother too. Lynda will always be the mother of our motley bunch. 

With such amazing experiences tucked under my belt, I congratulate myself for being brave enough to do something new and a little scary. I have discovered that acting is something I enjoy immensely and I have made such great friends with each production. I eagerly await this summer's production of "Dixie Swim Club" in the new Brunswick Actors' Theatre. We have a new venue and an official name. I look forward to working with old friends and making new ones. I hope your faces will be among the ones I see in the audience . . . or maybe on that stage with me one day!

**A special side note: I might also be the fertility goddess of the theater. Leslie Jackson became pregnant during our production of "Unfinished Dreams." Liz Gowen announced her pregnancy during the last weeks of "Five Women." Yesterday, Peggy Sue Gowen entered the world prior to her expected arrival date much to her parents' delight. She is a beautiful baby girl (just like her mama) and I again feel like a proud aunt. I can't wait to meet this sweet girl.

Expect the Unexpected

The best things in life are unexpected - because there were no expectations. - Eli Khamarov

They say nothing in life is certain but death and taxes, but I disagree. In my life, there's definitely one other sure thing: the unexpected is much more likely to occur than the expected. I find that whenever I take the time to put some thought and planning into something, the universe often intervenes to disrupt with other plans for me. And, conversely, if I'm busy living with the chaos of daily life with very little thought or planning, the universe often throws in a wicked fastball or a wild curve just to see if I'm paying attention. I like to think that when God granted me the ability to recognize and appreciate humor and irony it was because he was aware that my life would be filled with both.

In a recent Facebook status update, I quoted Dante's catch phrase from Kevin Smith's classic indy film, Clerks. If you don't know the movie, Dante is the manager of a Quick Stop convenient store who's filling in by working someone else's shift and complains throughout the movie, "I'm not even supposed to be here today!"

Sometimes that's how I feel when I look at my life. I, like many other young adults and college students, had a pretty set plan for my life. I was going to study international law and work in the corporate world. I was well on my way, earning a double major in French and Pre-Law at a Big 10 University. I had studied in France and had an internship in a corporate law department waiting for me. Then I met my ex-husband my senior year in college and it all changed...

While I hadn't been entertaining thoughts of marriage and a family, I fell in love and couldn't imagine my life without this guy. When I left Michigan after graduation to return to Illinois and complete an internship, he called me one night less than a week after we had parted and asked me to marry him. I was surprised because he was in the Army and would probably be stationed overseas and I still had three years of law school ahead of me, but we agreed that we wanted to take whatever journeys we had ahead of us together.

Instead of staying in Chicago to attend law school as I had planned, we were married and I moved to Michigan. When I started law school there, I discovered I had no interest whatsoever in international law. I was a strong writer and did well speaking in moot court competitions, so I honed these skills and when I started working, it was in general practice and litigation. My ex-husband ended up taking a civilian job and resigned his commission, landing us in Michigan -- I place I had never intended to stay -- indefinitely. What happened to that job I had pictured as a corporate attorney in the international arena?

When we left Michigan for the East Coast to pursue my ex-husband's career path, I discovered I was pregnant. This took my life in yet another direction that I had not imagined. Becoming a mother fundamentally changed me as a person. And the changes just kept coming...

Today I find myself a single mom working as an assistant editor of a local publication on a little island in South Georgia that I never knew existed before moving here. This is definitely not where I pictured myself when I set out on that path I had so carefully laid a few decades ago. As Dante says, "I'm not even suppposed to be here today!" And, as I explained to a friend, when I say that, unlike Dante, I don't mean that I'm not happy with where I am or that it's a bad thing...it's just so very different than the direction I had imagined my life would take. No Chicago-Paris jet-setting life of corporate meetings and travel. Instead, I have a flip-flop casual lifestyle with a job that allows me to meet amazing people and attend fun events. I enjoy little-hand-in-big-hand morning walks on the beach finding hermit crabs, sunny afternoons in the park and at the pool, and sharing popcorn during movie night snuggles on the couch with content dogs snoring nearby. Not a bad trade, actually.

What those decades of surprise twists and turns on the path of life have taught me is not to fear the unexpected -- it is neither inherently bad nor good, it is just unexpected! I've also learned the importance of being able to adapt to those changes and roll with the punches. As Ann Landers aptly stated, "Nobody says you must laugh, but a sense of humor can help you overlook the unattractive, tolerate the unpleasant, cope with the unexpected, and smile through the day." So, in case you were wondering (or concerned by my abysmal lack of recent blog postings), I'm still smiling and laughing every day!

Picture Perfect Day

Well, today my blog starts with a heavy sigh. Today was the PERFECT day. The sun was shining, the sky was clear and beautiful, and there was a myriad of things to do in the Golden Isles. I was looking forward to heading out to a fun and free community event with live bands, good food, and plenty of friends. But when I began the task of getting ready for the day I decided to tackle some cleaning that was put aside this week for things that were much more fun...a Kid Rock concert, a day in the sun, nights out with good friends. But once I started I discovered that there was really a lot that needed to be done and just should not be put off any longer. Really. Floors and laundry were sorely in need of immediate attention. And so I spent this gorgeous day inside taking care of things that could have been done an hour or two at a time on those days when I went out and played. So frustrating!

So where's the smile in this? I think about those things that I did when I wasn't cleaning...the phenomenal Kid Rock concert, the hours playing in the sun, the nights filled with abundant laughter and sangria, great conversation and pizza...and those thoughts light up my face and warm my heart. Yes, house cleaning is necessary, and yes, I absolutely hate doing it -- especially on warm and sunny days. However, I am willing to trade this one day of play to take on the chores I missed in order to enjoy all those experiences I had last week, because I wouldn't have missed out on those good times for the world!  Spending a sunny Sunday cleaning is a small price to pay. I'm sure there will be more sunny Sundays in my future, so I'll just make the most of those when they come.