Saturday, March 16, 2013

Mr. Carlin Had It Right

Once again I'm sharing words that are not mine because, frankly, I can't say it better than George Carlin did. When I read this yesterday it spoke to my heart and has stuck with me. I think it's something everyone should read and give some thought. While best known for his gritty humor, Carlin was a very smart man. There is such truth here. He says to share the precious thoughts in your mind, I'm so glad he shared his and now I share them again through mine.


SOMETHING TO PONDER

The paradox of our time in history is that we have taller buildings but shorter tempers, wider freeways, but narrower viewpoints. We spend more, but have less, we buy more, but enjoy less. We have bigger houses and smaller families, more conveniences, but less time. We have more degrees but less sense, more knowledge, but less judgment, more experts, yet more problems, more medicine, but less wellness. 

We drink too much, smoke too much, spend too recklessly, laugh too little, drive too fast, get too angry, stay up too late, get up too tired, read too little, watch TV too much, and pray too seldom. 

We have multiplied our possessions, but reduced our values. We talk too much, love too seldom, and hate too often.

We've learned how to make a living, but not a life. We've added years to life not life to years. We've been all the way to the moon and back, but have trouble crossing the street to meet a new neighbor. We conquered outer space but not inner space. We've done larger things, but not better things. 

We've cleaned up the air, but polluted the soul. We've conquered the atom, but not our prejudice. We write more, but learn less. We plan more, but accomplish less. We've learned to rush, but not to wait. We build more computers to hold more information, to produce more copies than ever, but we communicate less and less. 

These are the times of fast foods and slow digestion, big men and small character, steep profits and shallow relationships. These are the days of two incomes but more divorce, fancier houses, but broken homes. These are days of quick trips, disposable diapers, throwaway morality, one night stands, overweight bodies, and pills that do everything from cheer, to quiet, to kill. It is a time when there is much in the showroom window and nothing in the stockroom. A time when technology can bring this letter to you, and a time when you can choose either to share this insight, or to just hit delete. 

Remember to spend some time with your loved ones, because they are not going to be around forever.

Remember, say a kind word to someone who looks up to you in awe, because that little person soon will grow up and leave your side. 

Remember, to give a warm hug to the one next to you, because that is the only treasure you can give with your heart and it doesn't cost a cent.

Remember, to say, 'I love you' to your partner and your loved ones, but most of all mean it. A kiss and an embrace will mend hurt when it comes from deep inside of you. 

Remember to hold hands and cherish the moment for someday that person will not be there again.

Give time to love, give time to speak! And give time to share the precious thoughts in your mind.

And always remember, life is not measured by the number of breaths we take, but by those moments that take our breath away.

-George Carlin 

Thank you, Mr. Carlin. Maybe if more of us act in just such a way we can make the world a better place -- a place with less hate, jealousy, maliciousness, greed, and discontent. That is my hope. I wish you, my precious friends and readers, lives filled with hands to hold, moments of breathlessness, acts of kindness, and love that is shared. Peace.

Saturday, March 2, 2013

My Favorite Doctor

This weekend marks the birthday of Theodor Geisel, a poet philosopher better known to the world as Dr. Seuss. His books are delightful to me: rhyming verse, sharp wit and humor, colorful and fantastical worlds, and characters like The Cat in the Hat and The Grinch. And thought the stories appeal to the youngest of children, many carry deep underlying messages and wisdom that resonates with us even as adults. Since I began reading at a very young age, this man from Springfield, MA (only a couple towns away from where I grew up in Southampton) influenced my own relationship with words from the start. 

From "there's a wocket in my pocket" to the song sung by the Whos on Christmas Day, I have always been entralled with Geisel's use of words, both those found in the dictionary and those he created. Those silly words that just feel right to say and how their use sparks such vivid imagery in your brain. The way he could turn a phrase and make it all come together in rhyme. His style and creativity inspire me and his quotes about life and love are some of my favorites. 

So, in honor of Dr. Seuss on his birthday, it seemed only appropriate that I sit down a pen a quick verse:

Words

Words are my favorite toys with to play.
I juggle them around in my head night and day.
I use them to paint. I use them to build.
Oh, the blank pages that my words have filled.
Jargon or slang, nonsensical or real, 
They describe what we see, think, and feel.
They all must come out. I can't keep them in.
Not to release them just seems a sin.
They are meant to be shared and meant to be read.
And most important of all, they are meant to be said.

Thank you for always inspiring me, Theodor Geisel. I will forever be in your debt for your part in awaking my love of language and showing me that even fun words can have meaning too. Happy Birthday.  


 


Sunday, January 6, 2013

Unexpected Poetry

Yes, I'm a writer. Generally words flow from my pen or fingertips with ease whether directed to a topic or in response to communication. Sometimes, however I need inspiration to find the right words. But every now and again, something amazing happens: I will put my fingers on the keyboard or pen on the paper and the words just come without guidance or thought. It's as if they were there waiting like kids in line for recess, all in perfect order, for me to just open the door and let them out.

That happened today. And whether it sprang from thoughts that lingered in my mind since I heard about a possible suicide last night, or just arose from an unconscious need to address my own quietly nagging self- doubt, an unexpected bit of poetry emerged on this rainy day. Yesterday I remarked that I love the feel on pen on paper...today it was absolute magic. This is what magic looks like:





With only minimal polish added since it touched the notebook page, here it is:

Words for a Rainy Day

On days when happiness eludes your grasp
And the skies are dark with clouds,
Remember that you have an inner shimmer
And a light that can't be doused.
Don't let your head fill with doubt
Or your heart find trouble where there's none.
Wrap yourself in words and song
And know that you are loved.
All you have and all you are
Will always be enough.

Saturday, November 17, 2012

Love and Romance



I was recently asked if I consider myself a romantic. Hrmmm. A romantic? What does that mean, really? Some flighty, emotional girl who's looking for a Prince Charming to come sweep her off her feet with grand gestures and a showering of flowers and gifts? Some romance novel reading middle-aged woman pining for her Noah as she presses PLAY to view "The Notebook" for the 152nd time? Um...no.

So to go beyond the preconceived stereotype, I turned to my friend, Merriam-Webster, to see how the adjective "romantic" is defined:

1: consisting of or resembling a romance
2: having no basis in fact : imaginary
3: impractical in conception or plan : visionary
4a : marked by the imaginative or emotional appeal of what is heroic, adventurous, remote, mysterious, or idealized
b often capitalized : of, relating to, or having the characteristics of romanticism
c : of or relating to music of the 19th century characterized by an emphasis on subjective emotional qualities and freedom of form; also : of or relating to a composer of this music
5a : having an inclination for romance : responsive to the appeal of what is idealized, heroic, or adventurous
b : marked by expressions of love or affection
c : conducive to or suitable for lovemaking
6: of, relating to, or constituting the part of the hero, especially in a light comedy

Well, yikes! That didn't make it any easier. Alright, now let's take a deeper look...

Most of the definitions in here just don't apply at all (although whether or not I am imaginary has actually been a topic of debate). Do I have an "inclination toward romance?" Or is my life "marked by expressions of love or affection?" This requires some thought.

An inclination toward romance? What IS romance? Candlelight and flowers? Sweet words? While a grand gesture may impress me, it's the small gestures and the little day to day things that win my heart. And sweet words are nice, but more important is the sincerity behind them and the feeling that they are meant for you and you alone. Everybody wants to feel like they are special to someone. Of course I'm the same.

What makes me feel special? When you actively listen to me. When you get to know ME. When I'm not treated as "an interchangeable blonde"--that pretty girl who fits a certain description and guys figure one is just as good as another. When you're interested in what I have to say and you offer your own thoughts and opinions. When you support me, inspire me, encourage me--those things are priceless. I don't need you to agree with me, but I do need you to not be offended, angry, or hurt when I don't agree with you. Someone once said, "There's nothing more erotic than good conversation." There's definitely some truth to that.

"Marked by expressions of love or affection?" If you know me, you know that I'm generally a pretty affectionate person. I think human contact is a wonderful thing. I've written here about the power of a simple hug. It's awesome. Now love . . .

Simply put, I believe in love. That all-encompassing, with your whole heart kind of love. That desire to actively share in the joys and trials of someone else's life. And I want that love to prevail over adversity. I want good to triumph over evil. I root for the underdog to get the win. I believe that miracles do happen in real life. I am also well aware that sometimes bad things happen to good people. And quite often, people don't get what they deserve. As for marriage and "happily ever after," I find that "'til death us do part" is rarely "'til death."

So, I guess it's fair to say that my romanticism is tempered by a healthy dose of realism. However, what I do have that might just tip the scales is an undying spark of hope and a steadfast faith that happiness is not only attainable, but a necessary condition. Yes, I possess unflagging optimism. I know it can be horribly annoying, but I will always be that glass half-full kind of girl.

But when I look at it all and mull through my thoughts on love and romance, it really just comes down to this: every now and then, there will be a song with lyrics like Zac Brown Band' s "Whatever It Is" that turn me into pure girl mush, and I think, "THAT. That is how I want someone to think about me."

Yeah . . . I'm a romantic.








Sunday, November 4, 2012

Wearing My Heart on My Sleeve


Today is another anniversary of sorts in my life. The Sunday that we turn the clock back to end Daylight Savings Time marks the day that my now ex-husband stood me up for our first date. I remember it because when I got tired of waiting for him, my roommate and I decided to leave the house to go get donuts to eat while we sat and watched football on a sunny afternoon in Michigan. When we turned on the radio to tune in the football game on the way home and discovered that it wasn't playing, we realized that we had completely forgotten about the time change and hadn't set the clocks back. If he HAD come to the house, I wouldn't have been there. Oops! As it turns out, he had been called out of town on a job and sent a friend of his into the bar where I worked with his apologies later that week. Needless to say, we DID still manage to go out on a first date at some point thereafter and ended up married for 17 years. Despite the fact that the marriage ended some time ago, it remains a day that I always remember for that "botched" first date.

So, this morning in remembering the events of this day many, many years ago I decided my daily "November gratitude" status update on Facebook would be a reflection on that relationship. In my post I remarked that the 17-year marriage wasn't a bad run and we ended up with a pretty awesome kid out of it. I noted my gratitude that I still have an amicable relationship with my ex-husband and we can work together for our son's best interest. I know so many people who are not that fortunate, so this is something for which I am very thankful. Expressing those thoughts today seemed appropriate. This post was a departure for me, however, as I generally choose not to discuss my personal relationships in any kind of detail on Facebook. I also never post anything about my ex-husband.

When I decided to share this more personal than usual status update, doubt niggled in the back of my brain. Recently I received a message from a Facebook friend who doesn't know me very well suggesting that I "shouldn't wear my heart on my sleeve on Facebook." I was amused at the time, because while I am quite free with sharing my thoughts and emotions, it's generally done in a vague matter and I don't really post any sort of details about personal relationships in my life, other than the one I have with my son. But I am a writer. I enjoy expressing myself and I record my reflections and feelings, whether I have an audience or not. I am open about my emotions, no doubt, and always willing to express my opinions, for better or worse.You can learn much about my views on life, relationships, and parenting, among other things, but the only details you'll get are those which I share to choose. Nonetheless that advice not to "wear my heart on my sleeve" stuck with me and I wondered today if perhaps I was going too far, sharing too much.

I have received my answer. More than 60 people "liked" or commented on my post and others sent me private messages praising me for sharing my story this morning or saying that my words inspired them. They have shared their own stories with me in turn and tell me that they have gained something from my perspective. People tell me that they feel like they "know me" when I allow them these glimpses into my world . . . into my brain. They feel "connected." I welcome that.

I truly like my friends, however I come by them. If you interact with me virtually, I enjoy meeting you in real life to continue the conversation and develop that relationship. We live in a world where technology allows us to communicate with each other instantly. Phone calls, texting and social media keep us connected even when face-to-face interaction isn't possible. With all of these options available, a free flow of honest communication shouldn't be hard to come by, but it seems rare enough that people are surprised by my candid nature. That saddens me. We should be using this media to strengthen our relationships or to connect with a wider range of people, not to replace "real" communication with superficial and meaningless noise.

If posts that delve into my emotions, openly express my thoughts, or offer a little insight into my life are considered "wearing my heart on my sleeve," then sew mine on tight because that's where I plan to keep it. I encourage others to do the same. It's amazing what wonderful relationships can develop when you aren't afraid to let people see who you really are.

Sunday, May 13, 2012

A Day to Celebrate Mothers

Happy Mother's Day. No Eggs Benedict in bed or fresh flowers on the table here this morning because right now my son is with his father celebrating another mother in his life. My turn comes later today. And this, I've decided is okay.

Instead I enjoy a quiet morning of reflection on the nature of motherhood and all the amazing mothers and women that I know. Not only am I blessed to have my own mother still providing her steadfast love and support, there are some strong, smart, sassy women here who are like mothers to me and have let Declan and I enjoy being members of their extended family. I treasure them dearly for being here for me when my mother is so many miles away.

When I look around, I find myself surrounded by friends who are wonderful mothers, from those whose children have been Declan's friends for years to those whose experience I treasure because their children are now adults. I see former childhood friends and classmates who are now mothers sharing their children's accomplishments and celebrating those bonds. It's a joy. And my friends have some pretty incredible mothers too. I am constantly impressed by the women who have shaped these amazing people that I know.

Today is our day. We who have learned to put the happiness of others before our own, who kiss the boo-boos and want to right the wrongs, who love through the good and the bad, the terrific and the terrible. We who endure the tantrums and words that cut to the quick because we know they are the same children who can melt our hearts when their hand creeps unexpectedly into ours or they surprise us with a quick kiss for no reason at all. Nothing will ever be too much for us to take. There will never be too great a burden for us to shoulder for them. We love them unconditionally, every single moment of every single day. They are our world and we are happy to be their sun.

My life changed profoundly when I became a mother. I discovered my true purpose. I had no idea. It still amazes me that I have been given such a valuable gift with such an awesome responsibility. I spend every day trying to get it right and hoping that I'm not too far off the mark.

So, this afternoon I am going to hug my son tight and tell him how happy I am that I am his mom. We're going to go listen to some bands play at the park with friends that include some of those terrific mamas that I know. I'm going to surround him with love, music, laughter, and friends...because that, I think, is how to teach him what is truly important.

The best quote I've seen today: "There is no way to be a perfect mother, just a million ways to be a good one."

Now, my fellow mothers, go celebrate you!


Tuesday, December 27, 2011

At a Loss for Words



Today a friend of mine stated her intention of keeping a "gratitude" journal in which she mines the diamonds from each day. This made me smile, knowing that very same notion was the origin of this blog. Admittedly I have been abysmal at keeping up with my entries, though I can honestly say I have found something to make me smile each and every day, no matter how bad that day has been. (And, there have been some pretty rough days in the past few months.)

I have also been doing more writing lately, but there's been nothing that I think merits publishing to an audience. So, today, with a primed pen and my friend's new-found inspiration as further impetus for me to once again catalog my thoughts here, I fully intended to post an entry that captured a bit of joy that I found in what was otherwise a pretty miserable Christmas.

However, tonight, now that I have the time to sit and write, I am at a loss for words. Someone I care about is hurting and I feel helpless. My heart aches such that I do not trust my fingers on the keyboard. And so I am glad that I found my smile earlier today in the words of a friend. Since I cannot rely on my own words tonight, I will pass on words written by another that I find beautiful and inspiring, and perhaps someone else can find their smile here:

This is your LIFE. Do what you love, and do it often.
 If you don’t like something, change it.
 If you don’t like your job, quit.
 If you don’t have enough time, stop watching TV. 
If you are looking for the love of your life, stop; they will be waiting for you when you start doing things you love. 
Stop over analyzing, LIFE IS SIMPLE. All emotions are beautiful. 
When you eat, appreciate every last bite. 
Open your mind, arms, and heart to new things and people; we are united in our differences. 
Ask the next person you see what their passion is, and share your inspiring dream with them. 
Travel often; getting lost will help you find yourself. 
Some opportunities only come once, seize them. 
Life is about the people you meet, and the things you create with them so go out and start creating.
LIFE IS SHORT. Live your dream and wear your passion.